Transportation: Close shave

Close shave

By eyeamcool - 17/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 559

You deserved it 2 718

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Same thing different taste

By Amara1717 - 19/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 120

You deserved it 3 509

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 277

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 04:33 - Canada

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 121

You deserved it 2 024

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 397

You deserved it 4 383

By PulledOver - 01/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 973

You deserved it 54 819

Busted

By bustedfornuthin - 08/09/2010 04:42 - United States

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 910

You deserved it 2 498

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 580

You deserved it 4 558

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

By pampa31 - 14/12/2015 17:21 - Mexico - Tijuana

Today, while I was driving, there was a high speed car chase. The runaway managed to avoid my car but the police didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 771

You deserved it 1 702

By ashleighsheba - 27/09/2016 16:43 - United States - La Vergne

Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 1 163

AWESOM_E 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

Passengers? What passengers? Oh, you mean the children you were abducting...

mudkipsan 19

Friday 17 April 2009 13:18

One day, #8 will learn when to end a joke, and #9 will learn how to spot one.

Comments

AWESOM_E 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

Passengers? What passengers? Oh, you mean the children you were abducting...

rawrlily 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 15:21

lol

JBiz_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:06

That sucks :(

Indiana_fml 4

Friday 17 April 2009 12:20

Haha, that must have been creepy for all of you. Wouldn't know how I would feel if I were convinced of having a child abductor right next to me.

1Tsk 0

Friday 17 April 2009 12:43

well you shouldn't have abused those children then

ddlovatolover 23

Thursday 2 October 2014 4:06

The FML says child abductor, not child abuser.

imadonkeymoo 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

boer 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:17

can't you guys read? It says SIMILAR, not that he is the one.

lolfood 24

Saturday 10 May 2014 17:47

REEEEAAAAALLLLLYYYYY?!?!?

mudkipsan 19

Friday 17 April 2009 13:18

One day, #8 will learn when to end a joke, and #9 will learn how to spot one.

ZombieKnickers_fml 8

Friday 17 April 2009 13:23

And one day #10 will get an award for that comment.

tigerlover39 9

Wednesday 6 March 2013 22:46

True

deathhill3 40

Wednesday 20 March 2013 14:25

He has one, sort of. He is currently one of the top comments.

PonTiFeX 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:25

...Well... Did ya do it?

Eresbel 0

Friday 17 April 2009 13:35

lol to #10 and #11.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 81

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 657

You deserved it 5 838

Today, I drove to school and arrived early to find a parking spot. I found one close to the school, checked the signs, and thought, "Street cleaning is Wednesday. It's okay to park here since it's Tuesday." Being thrown off a day by Labor Day on Monday, I came back to a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 7 610

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 947

You deserved it 5 740

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 531

You deserved it 3 547

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 594

You deserved it 2 376

Today, I got accused of trying to steal clothes because I was taking so long in the fitting rooms with only a couple of items. I got stuck in one of the shirts I was trying on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 359

You deserved it 5 399

Close shave

Same thing different taste

Busted

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