Miscellaneous: Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the...

By Tyler - 03/08/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 056

You deserved it 3 269

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Same thing different taste

By callmeclarence - 23/06/2014 05:41 - United States - Valencia

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 070

You deserved it 5 633

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 08:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 372

You deserved it 1 740

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 065

You deserved it 10 558

Wasps can **** right off

By Ohthepain - 31/03/2023 14:00

Today, I got back home to my completely locked-up apartment after a long and stressful family visit. On digging through my nice clean clothes for something comfy to change into, I was set upon and stung by a great dirty wasp hiding in there. How the fuck did it get in? Are there more of them in here with me?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 131

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 212

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 2 864

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 12 473

doubleAbattery 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:11

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! I'm a girl and I still cried inside a little at the thought of that!!!

dacman48 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:14

Bee job?

Comments

FKWL 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:31

Sympathy pains, man...and I'm a girl O_O

shockeyvz 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:32

"I'm gonna get that bastard back!" said the OP BEEgrudgingly.

tpag3r 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:44

ahah that was punny =]

Conkers 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 10:46

The power of puns will never be BEE-littled.

yellowaholic 25

Wednesday 28 August 2013 8:47

But it's a hornet.

g00nie 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:35

I'm having a hard time believing this one. Were you showering outside or something?

aquaria 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:37

He could've had the bathroom window open...

AmericansAreDumb 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 11:57

Or he could have just recently pulled the towel from the line and trapped it inside without realizing.

quadracer111 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:37

You t-bagged a hornet!!!

10pm 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:55

yeah that does suck, but my god is that funny!

FarSide 22

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:57

Son Of A B*tch!! Mother F*cker!!! That hurt to just read.

MK1029 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:57

I always open towels up fully before using them, not to check for stuff in them but to place em over my head. OP got pwned.

mongoloid_fml 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:12

did it penetrate through to your ********?

madturk 0

Sunday 5 August 2012 13:27

Nasty!

Eelusive 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:16

Now that's nutty.

Caree 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 3:28

Ouch, that sucks. Though that was a little cheesy, the way you wrote it. No offense.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 390

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 539

You deserved it 51 164

The Top

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 856

You deserved it 4 032

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 696

You deserved it 37 821

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 245

You deserved it 3 013

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 396

You deserved it 3 357

Today, I'm a massage therapist, and a woman got on my table with a rash. When I informed her that I couldn't work on her because of the rash, and that it's illegal, she got mad, and started yelling at me. My boss came to find out what happened, took her side, and fired me. For following the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 86

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked his friend to propose to me for him, because he was too nervous to do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 106

You deserved it 258