Health: Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 525

You deserved it 10 688

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 22 043

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 951

You deserved it 5 821

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

By liu_kang - 16/03/2010 18:55 - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 164

You deserved it 7 711

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

Butterfingers

By eiregal2 - 15/04/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 03:05 - United States

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 308

You deserved it 3 239

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

By Seamstressed - 09/02/2017 20:00 - Italy

Today, I was sewing a top. Due to a mistake, I had to unstitch the zipper and resew it. When I was almost done, I noticed that the zipper was upside down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 236

You deserved it 1 266

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 331

You deserved it 4 134

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 941

You deserved it 9 372

Michaelgee 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:05

I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

hannah1203 2

Monday 16 May 2011 23:13

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

Comments

babybatman 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 18:57

ouchhhh

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Thursday 19 May 2011 21:18

ouch!!!! I'm sorry, I'm a girl but I imagine that must have hurt a lot!

BROSgsnyd33 0

Friday 20 May 2011 7:01

Don't worry, duct tape fixes everything

kaitlynFail 0

Friday 20 May 2011 23:44

Classic.

Veedway 0

Friday 20 May 2011 23:58

Painful. But don't worry, chicks dig circumcised "junk" ;)

ImTheAlpha 30

Tuesday 27 March 2012 0:21

Crap, meant to thumbs down. I find circumcised nasty looking.

mylifesucks12345_fml 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 6:45

ouch

crazedsyco 15

Saturday 21 May 2011 7:47

i meet a six year old who did that! i meet him as he did it. scary was that he didn't even cry :/ i was freaking out! hes okay now though. but still, ouch man!

DangerousGirl91 2

Saturday 21 May 2011 16:24

this is exactly why you should wear underwear, dumbass!!!

neverforgett911 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 6:12

that sucks 

DeLpHe3zY 7

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:38

at least it was free

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Same thing different taste

Butterfingers

It's called fashion, OK? Look it up.

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