Miscellaneous: Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days,... - FML

By KiwiMaid - 03/06/2016 10:31 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 945

You deserved it 2 150

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Same thing different taste

Nag nag nag

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 768

Weird reason to leave, but OK

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 04:01

Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 3 504

Unreasonable

By Busting my hump - 16/01/2024 18:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm on my sixth straight day of double shifts, with four more to go. I make overtime so I'm not complaining, but today my wife texted me, "Going out of town tonight, I expect the house to be spotless when I return." Not sure how I'm going to swing this one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 123

Alexa, play "Can't Stand Me Now" by The Libertines

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 110

No good deed…

By cantwin - 02/10/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 95

Sex vs. housework

By hesitator - 01/07/2017 18:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 885

You deserved it 1 017

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 660

Alexa, play "I'm Doing Fine" by Day One

By MystiChild - 04/02/2022 02:00

Today, I returned home early from a week away for work. I was worried about my husband's mental health after a week alone with our two ADD kids. He wasn’t expecting me, but I was surprised to see the house cleaner than it had ever been, and our children happily reading on the couch. How did he do that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 543

Just vibing

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, it was our first kid-free weekend in almost two months, and I was hoping for a nice date night. Instead, she picked up two shifts at work and then had a girls' night. Don't worry, she assigned me a massive deep clean that ate up almost my entire weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 141

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, after a long talk with the kids, I finally got all the chores around the house done early so we could have a fun family weekend. My wife decided to be a wet blanket and insisted we needed to deep clean the already clean kitchen. Three arguments later, everyone is sulking, and I'm working in the kitchen alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 127

Next

Top comments

kenzier513 8

Friday 3 June 2016 14:06

i only clicked you deserved it because every woman deserves 5 days by herself every once in awhile! lol

RememberSchlitz 9

Friday 3 June 2016 14:02

I know, right! When my wife goes off on business I do the same thing, but in reverse.

Comments

OtakuTaco 15

Friday 3 June 2016 22:51

How is this a problem?

vikky538 28

Saturday 4 June 2016 0:08

You got ECD .. Excessive cleaning disorder

claudiajean 24

Saturday 4 June 2016 2:36

The way I relate to this.... My boyfriend left for work and I managed to clean the whole downstairs of the house after he'd been off for a few days (he does shift work)

kylen11 4

Saturday 4 June 2016 11:27

sounds like my wife she does the same thing

molliekatz 6

Sunday 5 June 2016 5:05

isn't it AMAZING what excites us as we age? I also get excited when I smell bleach and soap instead of weed and ass....JUS SAYIN ;)

xxNeesaa 4

Sunday 5 June 2016 5:48

Deserved it! In a good way :)

R_L_Jack 11

Sunday 5 June 2016 21:14

Ha ha, My husband just got back after 2.5 days and I have steam cleaned 3/4 of the basement including his desk area. The dump water was black.

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Monday 13 June 2016 18:59

Meanwhile, your husband gets 5 days being unhygienic with someone! Everybody wins!

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The Top

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 397

You deserved it 14 503

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

The Top

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take two hours to get there. They called two hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 3 280

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 028

You deserved it 10 115

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 2 986

Today, my thesis deadline is on June 6th. The ethics committee are still deciding whether to allow me to do my study or not. They've been deciding for five whole months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 99

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 809

You deserved it 3 971

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 7 589