Miscellaneous: Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that,... - FML

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 9 047

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Same thing different taste

Unknown number

By Whoisshe - 17/01/2020 01:00

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 425

By Anonymous - 20/04/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I offered my phone number to the guy I've been flirting back and forth with all week. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 755

You deserved it 4 037

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 07:32 - Australia

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 206

You deserved it 8 616

By WhoaThere - 18/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 9 657

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 18/09/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 651

You deserved it 4 536

By crétin-crédule - 26/02/2013 05:02 - France - Isle

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 125

You deserved it 51 291

By jonas_93 - 05/04/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 047

You deserved it 9 187

By mehdi-online - 13/10/2008 08:22

Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 724

You deserved it 18 024

By sofuckingembarassing. - 11/02/2013 19:19 - United States

Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 198

You deserved it 7 989

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 146

Next

Top comments

hotbabemagnet 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:01

Wish I've even got that far... :)

beardly 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 16:01

Are you sure it was HIS phone number and not one of those fake ones? Just gotta be sure =)

Comments

Gracjaaa 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 21:55

Sugardaddy.com! It'll fix all your problems =)

checkitoutt 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:05

well maybe if you werent so negative you couldve gotten further by now. you should just appreciate your new record and remember, baby steps ; )

Some___Guy 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:23

And you're how old? Not enough info.

CrunkCupcake97 2

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:23

well, uhh, I don't even know what to say.

amazons 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:30

Did Susan Boyle post that FML?

moonlight_daze 8

Friday 11 September 2009 4:58

Susan Boyle looks like a man.

Reena03 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:33

congrats, hope the relationship wrks out for u girl

skullbuster 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 22:35

Well, if recent FML posts are any indication, you can go ahead and fall asleep on the nearest mass transit bus or train and a hobo drunkard will try to get himself off by doing some fast and furious rubbing of his groin against you..it really is that easy! IT'S A PANDEMIC PEOPLE!!

mylifesucksoften 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 23:06

it's a start right?

AcesCasino 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 23:32

just be a little more outgoing.

sam_stalker 0

Wednesday 8 July 2009 23:45

You go girl! Lmao the sad part is I haven't even gotten that far... The farthest I've gotten was when some guy I don't know called me at midnight asking If I had big ****

mattmag 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 2:16

i can give you 3 lonely guys' numbers. they are my roommates and i'm sick of their moping.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 296

You deserved it 2 129

Today, my 20 year-old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 911

You deserved it 5 804

Today, I was at a symposium at which my colleague was a co-chair. She and a new acquaintance asked me how it was going. I joked that the discussant's only job at this conference was to be an asshole. The acquaintance was the symposium's discussant. The topic was Rude Behavior at Work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 877

You deserved it 59 052

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 311

You deserved it 1 899

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding day. This is the second time we've had to postpone it. The first was due to COVID, this time the sudden passing of my fiance's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 162

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 423