Miscellaneous: Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably...

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 929

You deserved it 33 065

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 7 816

By pottyhostage - 08/11/2010 21:26 - Sweden

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 884

You deserved it 45 112

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 2 628

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 406

You deserved it 5 424

By tinydancer - 10/05/2012 18:10 - United States - Richmond

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 235

You deserved it 5 238

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 084

You deserved it 3 982

By fearofzombies - 13/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 310

You deserved it 13 256

By KDM - 05/02/2012 19:39 - Australia

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 967

You deserved it 6 612

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 4 375

By failureatlife - 27/04/2014 19:16 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 354

You deserved it 6 189

TheHarvest 7

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:07

remember cardio!

SasaCeceGogo 18

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:10

Your answer: Watch The Walking Dead.

Comments

zombieslayer83 19

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:10

Oh, its coming! Soon :-O

SoultheWolf 19

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:11

I'm pretty sure most of us lack the skills to survive a zombie apocalypse if it were to truly happen...

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 9 January 2013 22:43

Head to a rural area where there will be less zombies and stay the hell away from the big cities. Millions of zombies will be in the heavily populated cities.

chillnhill 24

Wednesday 9 January 2013 23:26

It is your own fault for living in a country that doesn't allow you the tools you need to properly prepare! oh, and cardio!

ICastillo 24

Wednesday 9 January 2013 23:41

When it comes I just hope they're the slow dumb zombies and not the ones that can run, climb and stuff.

wagonbacker9 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 0:07

Don't feel bad. Dodo most people.

wagonbacker9 8

Thursday 10 January 2013 0:09

*so do

Cupcake040 17

Thursday 10 January 2013 1:13

I'm pretty sure 90%of society would be

154rct 7

Thursday 10 January 2013 4:48

1 word Juggernog

Angelrae 5

Thursday 10 January 2013 4:58

Just play left for dead :) and remeber not to tick off the witches :)

WhatYouMean 4

Thursday 10 January 2013 5:30

You're retarded for even thinking of such stupid thing -.-

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Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

The Top

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800 009

You deserved it 65 857

Today, I told my conservative friends over dinner that I was a bit of a liberal. They then went off on me about how liberals are lazy, stupid, and a financial burden on society. I was the only employed person at the table with a college degree and not living with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 397

You deserved it 391

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 340

You deserved it 34 818

Today, upon my arrival at work, I was greeted by 2 police officers, 2 managers, my coworker, and a meth-head in my office. They quickly told me that the meth-head was wearing stolen merchandise under her clothes, then left me alone with her, saying I had to watch her undress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 864

You deserved it 784

Today, I've come to the realization that my girlfriend's mini Australian Shepherd dictates everything, from a hug and kiss goodbye, to when we try to have sex. The worst part is she won't do anything about it. Looks like another night with the damn dog between us… FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 290

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 5 192

Same thing different taste

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