Miscellaneous: Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML - FML

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 354

You deserved it 34 743

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Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 547

You deserved it 5 871

By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 2 777

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 241

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

Le Epic Bacon

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 21:30

Today, after years of struggling with acne, I found out that it's caused by all the bacon I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 269

By bacon lovers worst nightmare - 26/09/2012 06:57 - United States - San Diego

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 872

Bacon lovers unite

By punkiebrew - 16/01/2021 02:01

Today, my oven door fell off when I was trying to take out the bacon I was cooking. Why? Nobody hates bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 126

By fuckendog - 25/07/2014 06:05 - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 788

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 602

Barf

By rawr_ily96 - 24/05/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 243

Next

Top comments

showtimen0w 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:11

This is a good thing, not an FML. Everyone loves bacon.

mtc4ever 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:12

I'd eat that shit

Comments

nubster 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:21

l

douchbaggins 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:22

This FML made me hungry.

Calaura9 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:22

Hope it wasn't turkey bacon

fuqmiazwhtelse 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:23

I ******* love bacon

ipwnallmen 10

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:24

BACON MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!!! *faves cause.... It had me at bacon *

perdix 29

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:24

Was it Kevin or Sir Francis? Not an FML unless you are trying to keep kosher or halal. You may want to consult a spiritual leader to see if getting hit with bacon is the same sin as eating it.

11wanda11 6

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:26

hope it was hot, then this would be a fml

melmcr 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:28

not an FML, but YDI for not dodging.

TheLetterZero 7

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:30

Now that, is random.

yoshiyakiryu 20

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:30

I read this, then scrolled down and saw an ad for a t-shirt that said 'Bacon makes everything better'. Did bacon make your face better?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 565

You deserved it 3 743

Today, my two year-old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 501

You deserved it 1 560

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 51 116

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 161

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 209

You deserved it 4 880

Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 7 191