Miscellaneous: Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML - FML

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 354

You deserved it 34 743

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Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 547

You deserved it 5 871

By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 2 777

By Snuffles - 24/04/2019 18:00

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 241

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 134

Le Epic Bacon

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 21:30

Today, after years of struggling with acne, I found out that it's caused by all the bacon I eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 1 269

By bacon lovers worst nightmare - 26/09/2012 06:57 - United States - San Diego

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 872

Bacon lovers unite

By punkiebrew - 16/01/2021 02:01

Today, my oven door fell off when I was trying to take out the bacon I was cooking. Why? Nobody hates bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 126

By fuckendog - 25/07/2014 06:05 - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 788

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 602

Barf

By rawr_ily96 - 24/05/2020 08:00 - United States

Today, I was struck at home with a stomach virus. My dad, being an occasional insensitive smart-ass, decided to cook some bacon, sit right in front of the couch I was lying on, and eat the bacon. Last time I tried to eat bacon with a stomach virus... Not pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 243

Next

Top comments

showtimen0w 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:11

This is a good thing, not an FML. Everyone loves bacon.

mtc4ever 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:12

I'd eat that shit

Comments

guitardedman 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:31

YDI for giving two ***** about something so insignificant you ignorant ****.

hyefedyee 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:38

Awwwwww poor baby I hope it didn't leave a mark on your face

Jimboom 11

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:42

Everyone deserves to get slapped in the face with a piece of bacon first thing in the morning! Unless your vegetarian of course then you can get slapped with ... ooh I don't know.. a wet lettuce leaf or a pineapple or something like that first thing in the morning. ;)

marc_with_a_c 3

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:43

Hmmmmm! Bacon! *drools*

abberz 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:44

this is NOT an fml. maybe mlia but not an fml!

trillian_fml 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:49

yay free bacon!

antihaterrr 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:50

this is one of the funniest fmls but not rly an fml butstill made me laff lots

sublime93 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 17:50

Are you disabled?

dstroyr0153 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:52

lol funny... I love fmls like this...

aja175 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:52

It's bacon. eat that shit and quit complaining!

evil_munkey 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:53

kids in africa would be grateful! so should u =)

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 129

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 018

You deserved it 6 028

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 872

You deserved it 54 095

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 293

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 586

You deserved it 4 281