Love: Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a...

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 001

You deserved it 6 096

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 590

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 55 527

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 937

You deserved it 4 885

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 798

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 113

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 412

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 4 039

By ahuman - 29/09/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 767

You deserved it 9 771

mahimalil 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:28

☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆

SmokyMcBong 1

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:18

well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha

Comments

marial9na 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 11:31

I was alone too... thats ok... sorry abput your eye man... better luck next time..

sk3l370n 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 12:37

At least now you can make up a great story about having a life

Guyana00 3

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:19

dumbass.

starile 19

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:49

I dunno about you guys, but I THANK all my empty, half-smashed, drunkenly strewn about champagne bottles. For their wonderful friendship.

hideyoself 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:55

aah the average christmas period of a greedy business shark alone without friends, because money always has been the main interest in his/her life.

vanillatwilight6 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 14:55

hahahaha FAIL!!!

Valle79 5

Saturday 1 January 2011 16:33

And now you know why you shouldn't be staring into the barrel of a gun while pulling the trigger...dumbass.

Seethatguy 3

Saturday 1 January 2011 17:06

...8...9...10!!! TKO! Sorry, OP. I can set you up with a rematch if you'd like?

_k_a_r_e_n_ 9

Saturday 1 January 2011 20:03

you should have read the warning label: gently twist to release carbonation and open away from face!!

ManaUser 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 22:39

So, were you actually dumb enough to open champagne with the cork pointed at your face? I mean I guess I could believe there was some sort of ricochet shot involved, but it seems unlikely the cork would still have enough speed to cause injury.