Love: Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a...

By haappynewyear - 01/01/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 000

You deserved it 6 096

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 14:27 - France - Paris

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 704

You deserved it 13 782

By Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 201

You deserved it 590

Fight Club

By MyFaceHurts - 03/08/2010 10:40 - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 55 526

By knobbed - 27/01/2014 23:09 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 934

You deserved it 4 885

By deven - 29/08/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 737

You deserved it 44 797

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - 24/08/2020 07:02 - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting 2 holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 112

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 568

You deserved it 11 410

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 4 037

By ahuman - 29/09/2013 05:10 - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 765

You deserved it 9 771

mahimalil 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:28

☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆

SmokyMcBong 1

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:18

well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha

Comments

Fatima196 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 8:09

I supposedly had my family and dog and cat...parents and cat chilling in the basement and sister with her husband and kid and other sister out at a party... Which leaves me and my dog...by new years no opened no drinks..dad got whiskey decided nvm...worst new years ever. Lol don't feel bad.

ICaughtFire 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:42

You just confused the hell out of me. I read your comment at least four times and I'm still not sure what you said.

Blazingcrono 6

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:47

Little punctuations, excessive use of "and," and loss of words will do that to you.

IHeartJimi02 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:49

Holy crap I'm confused

talb1 7

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:53

I am confuckeled.

ICaughtFire 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:58

Confuckled. That is brilliant!

kissyxoxo 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 9:59

That is my new favourite word.

starile 19

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:53

I think she's trying to day she's a crazy drunk that we should all stay away from.

KFCkoolaidWaterm 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 8:34

Nah, he's on the right one. I mean, loads of people apologize to champagne bottles. People have been doing that for ages. Nothing absurd about that. Where have you been?

MysticDude 1

Saturday 1 January 2011 8:39

I love the way this is written! Don't worry OP, I'm not having much of a celebration myself.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 1 January 2011 8:41

Please also tell us about the brawl you had with the toaster, the melée you were engaged in with the pickle jar, the epic battle you had versus the refrigerator, and how you narrowly escaped death after using the can opener.