Health: Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:39 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 565

You deserved it 6 202

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 388

You deserved it 4 442

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 740

You deserved it 6 410

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 134

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 36 070

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 2 425

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 385

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 6 244

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 23 085

emerluvsu 6

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

That's the most original fml I've ever heard.

123zc1 3

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

Omg I almost died laughing

Comments

theguywhopwns 2

Sunday 27 May 2012 23:53

Boot in puss?

kattylizbeth 19

Wednesday 13 June 2012 20:31

You don't lose virginity by popping your cherry; my friend popped hers with a tampon. You don't lose your virginity until you have sex. Duh?

TheLolomonkee 0

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:35

OH GOD.... right in the childhood...

jrok98 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 18:31

wtf

courtneybro 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:52

Many things can tear your hymen, thus 'popping your cherry'. You don't lose your virginity until you have sex. Don't worry..

nateo365 9

Saturday 6 October 2012 21:36

That doesn't mean you lost your virginity, I hope you know this, right?

sparklypumpkins 13

Thursday 18 October 2012 13:36

I lost mine to my bike seat... Fun, huh?

woolymittens 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:27

Hahaha!!!!

LucyHyde95 2

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:04

Technically losing your virginity for a girl is vaginal penitration by a penis. So don't worry.

pink06233 12

Thursday 24 January 2013 1:25

Pop a molly, i'm sweatin' wooh

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Customers Fat Bodyshaming Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was, "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 269

You deserved it 14 171

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, my friends gave me a complete makeover, which included clothes from their wardrobe, to prepare me for an upcoming job interview. I was then declined the position, because apparently, I "looked too wealthy" to need the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 158

Today, it's been a week since my mother died. She had no life insurance and was over $20,000 in debt, plus her hospital/funeral bills. My father wants nothing to do with me as she was a one night stand and he never paid child support. I'm behind on rent and bills because I'm injured from work. Thanks for nothing, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 151

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 274

You deserved it 2 266

Today, I attempted to threaten my daughter's boyfriend to keep him from breaking her heart. I'm a 230-pound former soldier. He's a karate black belt. My family watched me get beat up by a 120-pound teenager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 7 931

Today, my husband is adamant he's not a cheater, because, "it only counts as cheating if you have sex with other women for free." Apparently 20-year-old male prostitutes don't count because they're not women and they cost money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 228

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 1 853