Health: Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost...

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By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:39 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 581

You deserved it 6 202

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 412

You deserved it 4 452

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 747

You deserved it 6 414

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 135

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 253

You deserved it 36 088

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 879

You deserved it 2 426

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 170

You deserved it 387

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 434

You deserved it 11 370

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 724

You deserved it 6 248

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 931

You deserved it 50 394

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 615

You deserved it 23 100

emerluvsu 6

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

That's the most original fml I've ever heard.

123zc1 3

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

Omg I almost died laughing

Comments

theguywhopwns 2

Sunday 27 May 2012 23:53

Boot in puss?

kattylizbeth 19

Wednesday 13 June 2012 20:31

You don't lose virginity by popping your cherry; my friend popped hers with a tampon. You don't lose your virginity until you have sex. Duh?

TheLolomonkee 0

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:35

OH GOD.... right in the childhood...

jrok98 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 18:31

wtf

courtneybro 0

Sunday 26 August 2012 19:52

Many things can tear your hymen, thus 'popping your cherry'. You don't lose your virginity until you have sex. Don't worry..

nateo365 9

Saturday 6 October 2012 21:36

That doesn't mean you lost your virginity, I hope you know this, right?

sparklypumpkins 13

Thursday 18 October 2012 13:36

I lost mine to my bike seat... Fun, huh?

woolymittens 11

Thursday 10 January 2013 23:27

Hahaha!!!!

LucyHyde95 2

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:04

Technically losing your virginity for a girl is vaginal penitration by a penis. So don't worry.

pink06233 12

Thursday 24 January 2013 1:25

Pop a molly, i'm sweatin' wooh

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