Health: Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 14:39 - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 565

You deserved it 6 202

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 388

You deserved it 4 442

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 740

You deserved it 6 410

Ninja skills

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 22:00

Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 134

Toot toot

By gassy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 250

You deserved it 36 070

By UkuleleTime - 23/06/2015 08:07 - United States - Garner

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 867

You deserved it 2 425

Change it!

By man down! man down... - 01/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 385

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

By luckygirl - 13/10/2015 16:20 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 709

You deserved it 6 244

By solomantis - 30/07/2009 05:46 - Norway

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 929

You deserved it 50 382

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:10 - United States - Rochester

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 23 085

emerluvsu 6

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

That's the most original fml I've ever heard.

123zc1 3

Monday 19 September 2011 18:34

Omg I almost died laughing

Comments

AdrianEC 15

Saturday 24 September 2011 6:33

At least you could say you lost your virginity, and without getting pregnant or any STDs.

DivaDemona 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 15:46

No, she can't say she's lost her virginity, because she hasn't.

ovi282 4

Saturday 24 September 2011 12:07

Simply the best FML ever

WhoIsThe 7

Saturday 24 September 2011 15:37

Are you two gonna get married now?!

Thehastilareturn 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 23:05

Like a boss

kwilsby 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 17:05

lol

missedtrain 3

Sunday 25 September 2011 19:50

Atleast you know your not pregnant from that show lol

bharmon31 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 20:22

Is this even possible?

2riteluvonherarm 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 20:43

it had to pop one way or the other.

TeenageDirtbagg 3

Monday 26 September 2011 5:47

:O ouuuch!

DrPepper523 4

Monday 26 September 2011 23:56

It's actually very possible...but it didn't really take ur virginity, just the majority of the pain you'd feel normally ur first time...

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 252

The Top

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 445

You deserved it 7 432

Today, I realised I'm so much more sexually attracted to Transformers than anyone I've ever met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 617

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 424

You deserved it 9 370

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 381

You deserved it 3 900

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 642

You deserved it 4 531

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 442

You deserved it 28 884