Kids: Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards,...

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 12 175

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Same thing different taste

By matchristityler - 09/02/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 6 877

By potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 725

You deserved it 27 240

Ninja!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2019 06:02 - Australia - Perth

Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 118

By ohcrap - 02/08/2011 04:58 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 482

You deserved it 16 129

By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 206

You deserved it 5 501

By Bob - 20/06/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 075

You deserved it 4 734

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 08:00 - United States - Temecula

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 975

You deserved it 6 001

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 471

You deserved it 734

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 450

Amburito 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:22

Woop his ass! That kind of behavior is unacceptable :l

whitesox365 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:19

You rack disciprine!

Comments

camera123 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:27

In Soviet Russia, the couch poops on your child!

KennKenn 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:28

I have a feeling if you spank him he'd call child services.

DomoLaDii 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 17:31

right lmao

newlove_fml 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 23:34

And then what? He'll get put in to a home where he will ACTUALLY be disciplined? Huh, not such a bad idea. However, the kid would hate it.

winnn_fml 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:29

That's your first child I can tell

turkeyburger 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:29

honestly..beat his ass. if you dont...i hope you enjoy the next 2 decades of bailing him out of jail at 3am

macourie 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:30

"... i then proceeded to wash his mouth with soap, rub his nose in his shit, and beat his ass with an old pingpong paddle..."

adenisa269 3

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:32

oh man.....if I had done something like that I would have ate soap and probably still wouldn't be able to sit down

SAgirl 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:33

Someone needs to learn how to discipline they're child.

DarkHelmet 10

Sunday 2 October 2011 9:42

Sounds like u haven't had belt to ass training. How do I know this you ask.... Well #1 the kid cussed you out and #2 he shitted on the couch in protest. My Dad/Mom wouldve whipped me tell their arm fell off if I cussed them out!! I wouldn't even dare fathom crapping on the furniture for fear of death by whopping!

Ravclye 0

Monday 3 October 2011 6:11

Sounds like my mother. She never hit, but that woman can yell. I probably would had crapped my pants at the thought of daring to defy my mother in such a way. But I never knew curse words when I was little. If she told me a word was"bad" and to not say it again or I'd get in trouble, I wouldn't say the word again.