Animals: Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML - FML

By zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 898

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Same thing different taste

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 1 251

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 618

You deserved it 5 848

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 3 812

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 773

You deserved it 13 804

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

You were framed

By Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 163

Next

Top comments

justanotherbird 19

Monday 8 February 2010 9:23

Win for Mr. Sprinkles!

shortie_sauce 0

Monday 8 February 2010 9:30

YDI for trying to put him in the freezer, dwight

Comments

clars_fml 0

Monday 8 February 2010 18:03

If my name was Mr. Sprinkles I'd maul you too.

GeoThermalSleuth 0

Monday 8 February 2010 19:27

I actually think this FML is quite Funny. I've Been Mauled be Cats many MANY times ... I know how much it hurts! And knowing your in the process of being killed by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles just Triples the Pain! FYL

FerrariCake 2

Monday 8 February 2010 20:20

His last name is "Blood"

SierraVanilla 0

Monday 8 February 2010 20:42

dude that's funny as ****

allen20 0

Monday 8 February 2010 21:08

WOW WHERE's PERDIX! :O!

Motocross363 0

Monday 8 February 2010 22:00

This FML us pointless!!

polarbare 0

Monday 8 February 2010 22:02

fake!

swimspy 3

Monday 8 February 2010 22:11

FAIL!!

Se7enfreaxxx 0

Monday 8 February 2010 22:30

fakkeeee

lky830 0

Monday 8 February 2010 22:46

this is honestly the funniest fml I've read in awhile. sorry you got mauled, though :(

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The Top

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 707

You deserved it 2 991

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 683

You deserved it 4 845

The Top

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 540

You deserved it 4 044

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 209

You deserved it 5 713

Today, my boyfriend's mother informed me that when I visit him next month, he is planning to propose. We have a long-distance relationship and I've been thinking of breaking it off. His friends and family are involved with the proposal he planned. They're all going to hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 814

Today, to save money, my wife decided, among other things, to make her own butter. It required cream bought fresh from a nearby farm and a lot of hand churning. I worked it out: by the time all the cream became butter, it was 4 times more expensive than Asda butter, expires faster, and tastes worse FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 102

Today, I had to give a presentation. I was feeling confident, until I clicked to the next slide and realized it was a picture of my cat wearing a sombrero, which I'd accidentally included in the slideshow. My boss was not impressed, but my cat is now famous in the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 484

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 294

You deserved it 15 425