Animals: Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained...

By ihatedogs - 22/06/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 895

You deserved it 19 916

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Same thing different taste

Dangerous words

By lily - 30/08/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 54 644

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 789

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 6 934

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 996

You deserved it 15 585

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 135

You deserved it 630

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 269

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 303

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 297

You deserved it 7 217

By smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 065

You deserved it 8 506

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 June 2009 12:15

The dogs were on the table, peed on it without you realizing and you guys decided to eat on it anyway? Even if there's water, wouldn't you attempt to clean it up? I don't understand. There's more then a few drops. It's a freaking puddle.

heywood 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:17

...I guess urine for a surprise.

Comments

shinigamiboi 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:09

its healthy for you actually ... a lot of nutrients. no joke  :D

beany212 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 2:04

Ew, really?

Kenziechristinee 0

Friday 21 May 2010 11:25

ew wtf?! why would a boy wear a wig?!

trippy92 2

Saturday 3 July 2010 16:18

i dont think thats a boy.. o.O

person4 1

Thursday 19 August 2010 7:47

urine is sterile so you can drink it :P

hairt 4

Sunday 29 August 2010 11:19

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA good one #105 that was hilarious LOLOLOL.

confusdsincbirth 5

Tuesday 5 October 2010 14:03

105, maybe its not a boy and you just helped it create an FML (:

SMG227 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:11

Delicious

nike1 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:12

mmh... sounds delicious hehe xD FYL!

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 June 2009 12:15

adime 4

Monday 22 June 2009 20:35

The tablecloth could have been really dark, making it hard to tell what kind of liquid spills on it. But you'd think the OP would be able to smell the urine. Especially while eating.