Animals: Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML - FML

By zzdug - 08/02/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 898

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Same thing different taste

By littlespoon - 04/02/2010 08:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 459

You deserved it 3 567

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 1 252

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 621

You deserved it 5 848

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 208

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 00:05 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 209

You deserved it 3 812

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 774

You deserved it 13 804

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 264

You deserved it 2 745

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

You were framed

By Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 163

Next

Top comments

justanotherbird 19

Monday 8 February 2010 9:23

Win for Mr. Sprinkles!

shortie_sauce 0

Monday 8 February 2010 9:30

YDI for trying to put him in the freezer, dwight

Comments

spritecheese 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 0:43

Aha, my cats name is Captain Sprinkles :)

ninafea 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:01

Mr. Sprinkles could wreck Snickerdoodle's Snickerdoodle

lonidani9229 3

Tuesday 6 April 2010 1:01

Bad mr. sprinkles! we do not maul people!

scoobtig 11

Saturday 22 May 2010 9:46

awwwwwwwwww

alieileen966 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 16:31

OP?

Raquelbby 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 20:04

LMFAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOO all i imagined was a fat cat jizzing sprinlkes on your leg .

UnluckyChicka 0

Tuesday 14 September 2010 0:57

lol u sound just like my best friend! she's so unlucky and all cats hate her. she bought a kitty hoping it would actually like her... she now has cut in her eye... :|

sdmarti 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 5:54

pussy fight!!!!

TheJashinist 8

Sunday 12 June 2011 14:55

Mr. Sprinkles ain't living up to his "cute" name.

KennyMcCrmick322 0

Friday 30 September 2011 2:55

Snickerdoodles ur name is delicious.... ;)

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 125

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 81

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 235

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 063

You deserved it 17 114

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 409

You deserved it 6 123

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I agree, your life sucks 63 195

You deserved it 6 074

Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 521

You deserved it 1 660

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 756

You deserved it 690