Love: Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once...

By jakewr - 02/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 19 853

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 312

You deserved it 5 136

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 1 903

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 59 711

By Phoenix0614 - 25/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 7 319

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 592

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 07:59

Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me his Kit Kat like he normally does, he called me his "Kit Kat Chunky". When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 312

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 33 238

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 03:59

Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 129

By bunintheoven - 23/10/2012 04:21 - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 443

You deserved it 5 105

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 92

DJR_fml 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:57

Mmmm kitkats

chefinheels88 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:58

I'd reevaluate your marriage

Comments

xSexyBeastx69 0

Friday 8 July 2011 21:36

lol shit I would too! that's 2 kit kat bars!

xgh319 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 18:02

Your wedding must have sucked lol

jatd_dbpb 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 8:39

i voted you deserved it cause everybody deserves 2 kit-Kats for the price of one in this insane world we call earth

FU49 1

Sunday 24 July 2011 6:47

**** it I rather hav just 1 kit kat than a man

acmilan721 4

Monday 25 July 2011 19:33

you either have a bad marriage or you must really love chocolate

bennie226 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 12:30

Don't get it...

bnvc 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:21

then why get married? idiot.

TheAPPLESLAVE 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 23:44

Today, I found out my husband litteraly loves kitkats more than me. FML

martini47 12

Thursday 15 September 2011 18:41

Ur husband must really suck then

Teresalove 4

Thursday 17 November 2011 5:26

Wow

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I have a stutter that gets worse with stress. We got a new supervisor today and the first thing she said to me was, “Either spit it out or write it in an email, for fuck's sake!” I’m now so scared of her, I go almost mute if we’re in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 004

You deserved it 2 388

Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 1 875

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 46 181

Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 859

Today, my neighbor - whose first words to me when I moved onto the block were "I don't like your face" - called the cops and claimed I'd been exposing myself in public. His lowlife buddy backed him up on his lie. I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up in deep trouble thanks to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 261

You deserved it 1 294

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 978

You deserved it 7 356

Same thing different taste

Smooth talker

Thanks, I hate it

Man vs. Machine

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