Love: Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once... - FML

By jakewr - 02/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I got more excited when two Kit-Kat bars fell at once in a vending machine than I did when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 19 853

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 5 136

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 1 903

By anonymous - 05/05/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 59 712

By Phoenix0614 - 25/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 437

You deserved it 7 320

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 592

Smooth talker

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 07:59

Today, instead of my boyfriend calling me his Kit Kat like he normally does, he called me his "Kit Kat Chunky". When I asked him why, he said it's because I'm now 20% chunkier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 313

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 33 238

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 03:59

Today, my husband excitedly came home from the gun show with a new lower receiver. I, however, had to go back out and get my own birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 129

By bunintheoven - 23/10/2012 04:21 - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 443

You deserved it 5 105

Man vs. Machine

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 92

Next

Top comments

DJR_fml 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:57

Mmmm kitkats

chefinheels88 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 11:58

I'd reevaluate your marriage

Comments

2112mike 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 18:32

you fat ****

maddie2015 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 18:34

I take it you arent so happy with your marriage. there's always people to help with that. or if u know what's wrong talk to your husband. if he really is the one you both can compromise for the better.

alex6946 10

Saturday 2 July 2011 18:35

kit-kats are good!

renlady_86 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:28

well that's a problem. why did you marry them then?

mahomie97 7

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:33

true dat trigga!:D

sleepyN 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:36

you shouldn't of married the first pig that came along

SydneyG 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:40

lemme get a bit outta that kitkat bar lol

Raemay 2

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:43

Chocolate is better than marriage anyday

tabasc0drumz 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:51

but dude... it's TWO kit kat bars. you think about that when you sleep at night

AZUMIKKEL 3

Saturday 2 July 2011 19:55

How come nobody noticed that there is '1996' in the OP's name? Obviously a fake.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 202

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I agree, your life sucks 27 730

You deserved it 3 604

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I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 4 610

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I agree, your life sucks 2 981

You deserved it 292

Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 801

You deserved it 1 478

Today, my 5-year-old got his first loose tooth, which reminded me that loose teeth give me the worst freaking heebie-jeebies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 176