Love: Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled...

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 15:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 233

You deserved it 6 332

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Same thing different taste

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 814

You deserved it 5 454

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 731

You deserved it 716

Timing is everything

By -bird-poop- - 10/10/2009 12:52 - Germany

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 023

You deserved it 7 570

By anonymous - 02/09/2014 18:58 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 782

You deserved it 9 662

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 990

You deserved it 8 372

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 958

You deserved it 2 884

Happy now?

By minime94 - 15/11/2012 06:35 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 2 552

By sothatsano - 16/12/2015 08:56 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 474

You deserved it 1 837

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 00:02

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in front of about 75 people in the fanciest restaurant in town. She told me she was already engaged, while holding up her right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 584

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Smooth

sarah5745 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Holy crap! Didn't see that coming op ;)

Comments

EffyFails 18

Monday 6 October 2014 1:15

aw sorry OP, hope you're feeling ok and that your girlfriend / fiance didn't take it in a bad way, somehow let us know what she said

vikky538 28

Monday 6 October 2014 1:49

when you are short of words...only your actions/expressions speak...hope no one took a video and posted it on YouTube...

Jaevwyn 17

Monday 6 October 2014 2:00

This seems a little fake to me...

mimi809o 21

Monday 6 October 2014 2:06

I'm curious to know what happened after this...

harp 9

Monday 6 October 2014 2:08

In sickness and in health......

bg18605 9

Monday 6 October 2014 2:27

Wedding gift idea: diapers and a steam cleaner.

ericjprs 3

Monday 6 October 2014 4:46

Well what did she say?

2_Fn_funny 6

Monday 6 October 2014 4:54

well shit......

AyCarambaNina 3

Monday 6 October 2014 5:28

lmao! what just happened?

AnalAssassin1 14

Monday 6 October 2014 5:38

Shitty luck.

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The Top

Today, I'm in hospital. During date night, after sex was over, I reached for my whiskey. I was already so drunk, I accidentally picked up the lit candle which was in a glass roughly the same size as my whiskey glass, and poured melted wax in my mouth, up my nose, and in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 2 267

Today, after ordering at a restaurant, the waitress suddenly began acting like a bitch to me, for no apparent reason. I later found out why: most people who order that particular meal tend to argue and whine about the price. I wasn’t going to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 224

You deserved it 2 919

Today, I took a drug test for probation and failed a category called "tricyclic antidepressants". The tablet of Benadryl I took last night for sleep assistance caused me to violate my probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 594

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 998

You deserved it 7 612

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 822

You deserved it 7 839

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 414

You deserved it 19 285

Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 149