Love: Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled...

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 15:47 - United States - Arlington

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words, "Lisa, will you…" then abruptly shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 233

You deserved it 6 332

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By CombatShadow45 - 25/11/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 814

You deserved it 5 454

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 731

You deserved it 716

Timing is everything

By -bird-poop- - 10/10/2009 12:52 - Germany

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 023

You deserved it 7 570

By anonymous - 02/09/2014 18:58 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 782

You deserved it 9 662

By maebyf - 31/08/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 990

You deserved it 8 372

By gutted - 07/05/2012 02:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 958

You deserved it 2 884

Happy now?

By minime94 - 15/11/2012 06:35 - United States - Sunset

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend while we were on my couch having a romantic moment. She seemed incredibly excited when she saw the ring and put it on. The way she bolted out the door tells me I'm not going to see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 2 552

By sothatsano - 16/12/2015 08:56 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 474

You deserved it 1 837

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 00:02

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in front of about 75 people in the fanciest restaurant in town. She told me she was already engaged, while holding up her right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 584

mrtonyanderson 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Smooth

sarah5745 41

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:20

Holy crap! Didn't see that coming op ;)

Comments

JuliusSeizure 18

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:37

You should have recovered with "My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in."

Sassybq1 13

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:38

Well..... Now we know where you were when diarrhea struck.....

Donat96 20

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:41

....Clean me up, please?

Stryker_13 19

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:44

Did you continue to propose after that or..?

inseenglish 9

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:51

what was your reaction ? -"shit" ?

MelTheGreat 23

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:52

Taco Bell strikes again.

mkayden 23

Sunday 5 October 2014 20:57

lost your shit, huh?

GothicKnife 11

Sunday 5 October 2014 21:07

That must have been a shitty moment.

brivielle 15

Monday 6 October 2014 1:13

Goodtimes26 7

Sunday 5 October 2014 21:16

What a crappy proposal

MasterBob_fml 14

Sunday 5 October 2014 21:22

Hiding the ring in your stool... brilliant, not many would look there.

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The Top

Today, I had a job interview at a Holiday Inn. I got there ten minutes early and sat until 1:00 p.m., then told the person at the front desk I was there for my interview. She called the manager, who said that no interviews were scheduled today. I'd gone to the wrong Holiday Inn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 694

Today, my obsession with Polish women tried to "graduate" and become my religion. The obsession I had caught from hearing other dudes' ethnic fetishes online was about to become the start of a New Religious Movement. Now I'm stuck with the realization that I have an incredibly cringey brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 568

The Top

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 667

You deserved it 3 131

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 142

You deserved it 6 283

Today, I realized my parents, especially my dad, interrupt me so often when I'm talking that I've become completely accustomed to being interrupted whenever I speak. When they aren't interrupting me, they're either ignoring me, or just not acknowledging me. They still wonder why I don't talk much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 110

Today, I put icy hot on my aching shoulders, like I have been for several days. They seemed extra tender today, and it wasn't until the burning started that I realized I had put icy hot directly on a very angry sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 524

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 478

You deserved it 2 323

Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 900