Transportation: Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop...

By 613tanner - 19/05/2011 05:30

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 465

You deserved it 70 316

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It wasn't me, officer

By wrongcar - 03/11/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 387

You deserved it 2 527

Vibe check

By buttfingers - 26/12/2015 17:37 - United States - Houston

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 2 242

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 317

You deserved it 39 803

Am I being detained?

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 597

By Anonymous - 13/08/2010 14:16 - United States

Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 861

You deserved it 52 126

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 240

Shot

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 20:13 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 29 719

By yulis - 30/11/2013 19:21 - United States - Hagerstown

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 449

You deserved it 7 295

By Jack.mercado - 19/03/2016 16:58 - United States

Today, being the new driver I am, I was trying to keep my speed at posted because I know that cops will target me. I ended up getting pulled over for my too-low speed and given a ticket because I was holding up a line of cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 623

You deserved it 12 263

By TheBRADLeyB - 16/04/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 561

You deserved it 96 801

sxe_beast 11

Thursday 19 May 2011 11:52

Were you driving a DeLorean?

llCHR15ll 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 11:57

you didn't engage the flux capacitor. hopefully you will learn from this crucial mistake.

Comments

xkds626x 0

Friday 20 May 2011 1:39

that was pretty good. If I had been that cop I would have patted you on the back for your wit. lol

stevenmx86 7

Friday 20 May 2011 1:58

How is this not a ydi? Speeding (by a lot) and gave a smart ass answer? You're lucky you still have a car.. We'd be lucky if you didn't.. Moron

mrhept 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:08

wow really?

dangger 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:16

how is this an fml?? seriously?? fml should be more drastic than a bad joke and a speeding ticket.

TMUSEk 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:41

lmao...funnt but not smart.

lowshadows 21

Friday 20 May 2011 2:42

Hey Doc! we're in 2011, it's way better to get laid here than then, no offense to the 50's and 80's people.

lifes_a_b1tch 7

Friday 20 May 2011 2:43

Good sense of humor :) VERY bad timing.

TMUSEk 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:44

hahahahahahahhahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

rebelvamp420 14

Friday 20 May 2011 3:00

although that's extremely funny you knew as soon as the words left your mouth you were getting a ticket lmao!!

catsAndRabbits 0

Friday 20 May 2011 3:17

I feel like this would be a great MLIA story if only the cop hadn't given op a ticket..

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 207

You deserved it 36 695

Today, a deer hit my car. I stopped to check on it, expecting it to be dead in the road or a ditch. The fucker was staring at me from the top of the hill and pranced off just fine. I get $800 in front-end damage and I'm still finding hair and fecal matter on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 044

You deserved it 728

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

Today, my husband told his parents that he was quitting his job so that he could focus on school. They asked him what he was going to do for money. When I told them that I'd be the one working, they took one look at me and burst into laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 438

You deserved it 4 322

Today, while on a first date, I leaned in to kiss her, but my lips somehow brushed against her nose instead. I panicked and ended up kissing her forehead like a grandma saying goodbye to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 321

Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 422