Miscellaneous: Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should...

By LonerCow - 20/01/2012 15:15 - United States

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 11 649

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Same thing different taste

By Nucleus - 08/10/2015 13:48 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I complained about being bored to death on Facebook. Someone took it as a suicide threat and called the police. They showed up at my apartment and my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 270

You deserved it 3 472

By Phill1188 - 16/09/2018 03:30

Today, I got locked in an old woman's garage for an hour when she forgot I was looking at the car for sale. When I got home, I told my mom and jokingly said, "First time I have been kidnapped!" Without hesitation she said, "Well, that makes it the third time." I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 212

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 4 396

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 47 236

Reset my life

By Username - 17/05/2011 04:05

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 162

You deserved it 8 703

By Death By Parent - 19/07/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 7 926

By Noname - 14/03/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 042

You deserved it 82 009

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 16:09 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 914

You deserved it 8 797

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

shrimpygymnast 9

Friday 20 January 2012 18:47

call her a cow. thats an insult from where i am from in england

Fiskerz 0

Friday 20 January 2012 18:53

Pretty sure it's a insult everywhere.. Go to the gym!

Comments

DocBastard 38

Friday 20 January 2012 19:11

Last I checked, only cows can give birth to cows. So your mother basically just called herself a big ******* bitch...I mean, a cow. No, I meant big ******* bitch.

nattynatters 14

Friday 20 January 2012 21:11

What's your pic Doc?

KeyboardWarrior 10

Friday 20 January 2012 22:17

A broken off vibrator lodged into the anus.

Akharr01 5

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:17

Penis in anus stooopid

ohsnapitsdye 3

Friday 20 January 2012 19:11

Damn...

Jackmangold 0

Friday 20 January 2012 19:11

This is fake

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 20 January 2012 19:15

That's what your dad said about his condom, then he had you.

biggestfan23 11

Friday 20 January 2012 19:14

That's messed up but that's what you get for posting attention needy posts on Facebook

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 20 January 2012 19:23

That's no excuse for her mum to be mommy twat.

mama8809 0

Friday 20 January 2012 19:14

Och what a bitch

Ins_Knie 2

Friday 20 January 2012 19:16

Is their tractor beam strong enough?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 20 January 2012 19:21

If it's strong enough for the Millenium Falcon, then it'll be strong enough for a person.

eatsleepjb 8

Friday 20 January 2012 19:25

16 likes...well that's better than 42 people liking it when your mom comments "loser" on your profile picture! And for those that don't know, it's from a previous fml.