Love: Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to...

By Justme - 05/06/2013 05:02 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 658

You deserved it 3 866

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mrs Popular

By Marco - 22/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sent flowers to my ex, scheduled to be delivered after work in the evening. She texted me at midday thanking me for the flowers. I looked at my shipping order and they haven’t been sent yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 643

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 4 479

By anonymous - 16/02/2015 12:57 - Australia - Rockdale

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 2 982

So brave…

By just say you want to leave! - 02/10/2023 16:00

Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 102

By thisistypical - 14/09/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 463

You deserved it 3 075

Bad timing

By kellym - 22/04/2009 03:24 - Canada

Today, I called my husband and he told me that he was going to invite his friend Jeff over that night. I told him I would prefer that he didn't come over. He took it to mean that I wanted to spend time with him and came home with flowers. Then had to tell him I was leaving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 625

You deserved it 158 129

By nightowl506 - 21/11/2011 07:22 - United States

Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 4 034

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 18:00

Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 119

Never enough

By badenoughflowers - 14/01/2013 15:47 - United States - Ben Wheeler

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 740

You deserved it 3 597

By cyprianista - 13/02/2015 16:13 - United States - Houston

Today, I spent an ungodly amount of money to send my long-distance boyfriend a giant bouquet of roses for Valentine's Day. A few hours after making the non-refundable payment, he let me know we weren't going to work out, and that he was already sleeping with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 200

You deserved it 4 431

hottay7164 18

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:06

Leave his stuff outside for when he gets back/ yard sale and change the locks. Cheating sucks. If you are not happy just leave, but don't stay with the jerk, makes you just as bad.

Quaileggs 12

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:07

Send him a message or call saying "don't even bother coming home" and pack his shit up

Comments

supertacowaffle 41

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:15

People like him disgust me.

Pordexel 5

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:31

Depends what flowers he sent her.

Doxy 22

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:40

Hopefully lilies because they are associated with graves. Where dead people lie. Dead like their marriage.

supertacowaffle 41

Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:07

awkward when that's my name too haha

Doxy 22

Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:43

Well...I got nothing. I'm just gonna retreat to my fortress of awkwardness and live with penguins for the rest of my life.

supertacowaffle 41

Thursday 6 June 2013 8:51

Forever a death flower xD

SmittyJA24 26

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:27

Idiots like him make it rough on all of us guys that have integrity & morals. Wedding vows are made to both God & the partner!!

TheMathMajor 26

Wednesday 5 June 2013 19:40

Unless you're an atheist :)

Mr_Loudmouth 9

Thursday 6 June 2013 0:22

You lose

pandabear111787 14

Saturday 8 June 2013 7:08

Amen

MissWhitneyB 17

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:34

Leave his cheating ass.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:34

Change all the locks to your house, and then go on your own vacation during the time he comes back.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:50

I see opportunity here for a nice revenge. I just hope you don't have kids with that scumbag

D3ATHZ3RO 15

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:51

Take his stuff and burn it all! U can do so much better!

perdix 29

Wednesday 5 June 2013 16:58

When he gets back, see if he learned any new sex tricks from her. If he doesn't improve, dump his ass. If he gets you off like never before, keep letting him go out for "training."

Bobskittens1 12

Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:10

That's a horrible idea! I'm pretty sure they aren't swingers.

perdix 29

Wednesday 5 June 2013 18:23

#29, "pretty sure" they're not swingers? If he's letting the bill get back to his wife, he must have permission to see this other woman. Either that, or he's really stupid. . .

Inediblepeaches 15

Thursday 6 June 2013 11:11

And putting it on FML....

feelingold 18

Friday 7 June 2013 23:50

This cracked me up. Sadly the FML crowd think you're being serious...

LadyNatasha 4

Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:04

I wouldn't jump too far ahead... maybe he's going to see his mother, or something? That makes just as much sense as the flowers being sent to some random woman.