Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out...

By satanlovesme - 30/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 849

You deserved it 8 351

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Same thing different taste

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 2 297

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 9 929

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 164

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 45 740

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 3 085

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 7 828

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 2 729

SP63_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:45

Ugh. I was raised Christian, and always will be, but these kind of people are what gives Christians the names they have. Wouldn't it be great if there was a world where people could co-exist, and go about as they wish? I know many Athiests, Muslims, and even a few Buddhists. They're all nice people, I could care less about who they worship, or if they do at all. But then again, I've been excommunicated from my church, supposedly for these reasons. Oh well, who cares, I refuse to join a church that discriminates.

NoMercy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:39

LOL. I didn't know Satan had a manual.

Comments

Nofuckyourlife 1

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:54

It's a FML because she reads cosmo. I'd be filled with self loathing if I so much as used that trash to wipe my ass after taking a dump, let alone actually reading it.

illeyad 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:59

ll i dont care if this was possible made up, that is hilariou~ great fml post :D

dreamsmean 3

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:04

# 13 and # 53 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA amazing. and this isnt an fml its just hilarious

loltreated 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:05

To be quite honest, I'd have laughed if someone said that to me, even though I am a Christian. However, it would be great if those who don't believe in God would keep their extreme comments to themselves. It's obviously not my belief that God doesn't exist, it's theirs, and that's their right, but it's incredibly annoying and rude for people like #24 to say those things without regard for how others feel. I'm not an if-you-cuss-and-read-Harry-Potter-then-you're-going-to-hell Christian, but I do believe in God and I don't like watching people blaspheme Him that way.

peanut_gallery 2

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:08

I'm torn between YDI because you read Cosmo and therefore, surely, an idiot, but I will go a bit more toward the FYL side because I Hate religious retards more than airheads. So a grudging, FYL.

Lagunaguitar 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:24

#19, I love you!!! I am an atheist and people have given me crap all my life. Wars are started because of religion. If everyone could get along, the world would be so much better. ALL CHRISTIANS, CATHOLICS, BUDDHISTS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HINDUS, AND ATHEISTS SHOULD UNITE AND COEXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

feeish 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:25

So what you met one crazy lady and you think it is a FML it is not but I will admit it is funny

phantomdonut 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:29

Oh, that is BRILLIANT! I don't think it's an FML, but it's amazing nonetheless. Thanks for sharing that story - it totally made my day!

Miss_delaney 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:30

#49 i totally agree with you. i'm a christian, but im so embarrassed when people make a spectacle of christianity in a negative way, like this woman obviously did. if you believe in God, you have to also believe that Satan exists, so maybe this woman's comeback might have been correct, i can't stand when people treat God's word as a way of putting others down. Thats not was it's meant for. Not only that, but it was wrong of her to judge others. if she reads the bible, she would know that God tells us to judge ourselves before judging others.