Miscellaneous: Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out...

By satanlovesme - 30/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 849

You deserved it 8 351

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Same thing different taste

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 003

You deserved it 1 877

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 609

You deserved it 2 297

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 9 929

Take what you can get

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 00:30 - Netherlands

Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 164

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

By black and yellow - 21/01/2013 06:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 800

You deserved it 45 740

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 07:02 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of enjoying a really good book while in a waiting room. Someone saw what I was reading and thought it would be cool if she leaned over and told me everything that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 539

You deserved it 3 085

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 7 828

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 2 729

SP63_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:45

Ugh. I was raised Christian, and always will be, but these kind of people are what gives Christians the names they have. Wouldn't it be great if there was a world where people could co-exist, and go about as they wish? I know many Athiests, Muslims, and even a few Buddhists. They're all nice people, I could care less about who they worship, or if they do at all. But then again, I've been excommunicated from my church, supposedly for these reasons. Oh well, who cares, I refuse to join a church that discriminates.

NoMercy_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 3:39

LOL. I didn't know Satan had a manual.

Comments

Dart22 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:34

Wow, i hate people like that. and here is something a little ironic/creepy (I swear this isn't Photoshopped (except for the highlight ;P) ) http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f98/Dartaris/ScaryFML.jpg

TheRelevant 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:35

its funny but not really a fml

Mitz_fml 4

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:37

f her life for being a closed minded bible thumping moron.

lucie_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:40

79 said it all. all hail the waterboy :)

caprica_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:40

I'm reminded of this quote by Annie Dillard: An Inuit hunter asked the local missionary priest: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" "No," said the priest, "not if you did not know." "Then why," asked the Inuit earnestly, "did you tell me?" People who push their beliefs on others can be likened to forwarding a bad chain e-mail, hopefully most people will have the common sense to delete such messages and mark them clearly as unwanted 'spam.'

SP63_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:40

@92. Wow, that's a keeper

ssfchik17 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:42

i cant stand ppl like that, ppl that cant except other religions and other ideas. as an athiest myself, i hate it when ppl tell me im wrong, stupid, or retarded 4 not agreeing with them. im entitled to my own beliefs as are you. if i were you, i would have told that lady to **** off & thrown the magazine at her. #37/42 who the hell do you think you are!? you're really pissy aren't you? like are you ******* on your period or what?

DeadMansCrack 4

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:43

HAHAHAHA this one made me lmao

A_Wolfe 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:46

#17, #37, #42, #81: I'm almost 100% sure that you're the only person who cares about what you have to say, and you're probably the only person who's read and re-read your comments just because you love the sound of your opinion, hence why you forced it upon us 4 times. Just lighten up and enjoy the FML's.

Brett2873 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:53

#37, zealots dont look at what their religions teach them. They contort it to convince themselves that everyone else is an enemy. I am a christian, but thats what i believe in, not what i no for sure. Nobody anywhere on this earth is in the position to judge a religion because nothing can prove a religion is real but nothing can disprove it either