Animals: Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in...

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 197

You deserved it 1 986

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Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 125

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 518

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 158

You deserved it 3 985

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 78

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 261

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 050

You deserved it 3 738

LoverWordsFood 27

Friday 24 July 2015 0:42

Nope, Nope, Nope and No ******* Way. Strong mouthwash and some kind of brush to scrub out the...feeling. *shudders*

DeathofCareBear 21

Friday 24 July 2015 0:38

Isn't that touching...

Comments

kmcook 5

Friday 24 July 2015 2:46

gag and shudder.

corky1992 33

Friday 24 July 2015 3:04

my worst nightmare! **** spiders.

JdB22 7

Friday 24 July 2015 3:53

Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

wanted_2_want 40

Friday 24 July 2015 3:57

Hey! Next time try to dream about being a zillionaire with eye candy on both the arms... Wait!

dntbeadouche 25

Friday 24 July 2015 4:13

I like the way you think. you might be on to something here. If that happens, definitely gonna track down op and have them help me in my dreams.

vividdreamer 14

Friday 24 July 2015 4:25

All the heebie-jeebies and all of my nope to that, sir!

wpam1978 7

Friday 24 July 2015 4:32

Spiders are my worse fear.

cassiekinz 14

Friday 24 July 2015 4:41

Now that is a reason to hop right the **** on the nope train straight to FUCKTHATVILLE.

booty_sniper 10

Friday 24 July 2015 4:49

Did you survive?

Princesswildrose 10

Friday 24 July 2015 4:54

Nope nope nope nope.. So much nope.

ham_spam 17

Friday 24 July 2015 4:58

Taquila and lighter

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 295

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 178

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 896

You deserved it 11 951

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 829

You deserved it 6 108

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 064

You deserved it 4 922

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 554

You deserved it 7 653

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 5 764

Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

Juicy breakfast

Top o' the mornin' to ya

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