Miscellaneous: Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2012 04:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 80 960

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Same thing different taste

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 8 844

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 693

By ali - 03/07/2012 11:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 319

You deserved it 46 688

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 3 860

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 488

You deserved it 6 264

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

You need to leave

By trash your own house!! - 09/09/2023 06:00

Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 105

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 319

You deserved it 67 524

gianthelper 1

Thursday 19 July 2012 12:20

Women-1 Sexist men-0

Rangant 7

Thursday 19 July 2012 12:21

I'm pretty sure almost everyone here is going to cheer her on aswell. Way to be a dick.

Comments

televishun 7

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:20

its too bad she didn't throw them at your balls instead.

xd3box 4

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:24

If you had caught them all, that would've negated it. You would've looked like a boss. (still Shouldn't yell to ur girlfriend unless she is far away)

pmnj19 8

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:28

My douchebag senses are tingling.

roxstarpony 8

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:31

That's what you get for being a dick.

snafu63 0

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:34

on behalf of all non misogynistic men everywhere, you had that coming you objectifying ass.

AwkwardHaole808 16

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:34

Being an ass isn't the same as being cool. Careful or she will find someone else who doesn't demand beers in an attempt to be cool.

CoconutOil 7

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:38

So, being polite and saying "Honey, would you bring me a beer, please?!" isn't cool?! Wait, yea! That's what the media been trying to teach us for the past 2 decades! Polite is < and not = to cool!

aeromachine 7

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:48

I doubt he was being polite in this scenario lol

CoconutOil 7

Friday 20 July 2012 3:56

That's what I am saying.... Yelling at his girl friend and "demanding" a beer is what he considered "cool". I was ranting about how being polite isn't "cool".

downtime 12

Friday 20 July 2012 4:46

256, You used a formula that meant people had to actually think. This is FML, if it isn't spelled out they just won't get it.

Chibiko 9

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:40

Yes, because your friends will reckon you're the epitome of 'cool' by disrespecting your girlfriend.

mp33_fml 3

Thursday 19 July 2012 17:42

I'm starting to think that FML is full of feminists. Four beer bottles to the head? He could have gotten a concussion!!! It's not okay to hurt anyone, and that includes men.