Miscellaneous: Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled...

By Anonymous - 19/07/2012 04:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 852

You deserved it 80 960

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 5 417

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 8 844

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 693

By ali - 03/07/2012 11:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 319

You deserved it 46 688

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 3 860

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 488

You deserved it 6 264

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

You need to leave

By trash your own house!! - 09/09/2023 06:00

Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 105

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 319

You deserved it 67 524

gianthelper 1

Thursday 19 July 2012 12:20

Women-1 Sexist men-0

Rangant 7

Thursday 19 July 2012 12:21

I'm pretty sure almost everyone here is going to cheer her on aswell. Way to be a dick.

Comments

Factor_fml 6

Thursday 19 July 2012 15:52

Why did you put her into this situation, OP? What did you expect her to do, publicly humiliate herself by serving at your command? Should she silently let it slide and let everyone know that they can treat her this way and get away with it? What did you expect, precisely?

Ubehage 32

Thursday 19 July 2012 15:54

haha! What makes you think that yelling at your girlfriend is cool ? I guess your parents gave you that idea; otherwise I can't think of any reason. I think you should repay them: Go home and bitchslap your mom. Then tell her you are just trying to be cool :D

renjisgirl12 22

Thursday 19 July 2012 15:55

People seem to forget that there's a difference between speaking loudly and shouting. It's more the way he would have said it.

ladybuggirl1234 3

Thursday 19 July 2012 16:05

you dont deserve a girlfriend. i hope she dumped your sorry ass.

abkpw21 1

Thursday 19 July 2012 16:06

My gf gets me beer every time, leave out the trying to impress people part and it becomes more expected:P

sigrak0 10

Thursday 19 July 2012 16:14

How's this an FML..? Its not like she was obligated in anyway to have you be her maid of honor, why not be happy to help in any way you can? Stuck up bitch >.>