Animals: Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/05/2011 04:41

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 016

You deserved it 27 770

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Same thing different taste

By allykat - 03/12/2014 00:56 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 314

You deserved it 5 711

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 6 324

By cat co-parent - 03/01/2015 00:11 - Australia

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 2 749

By catastrophy - 19/11/2016 09:20

Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 846

You deserved it 1 333

By crazy cat lady - 03/11/2016 19:31 - Canada - Fredericton

Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 525

You deserved it 874

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 3 994

By whymomwhy - 11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 356

You deserved it 2 881

By pretty princess - 01/02/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 818

You deserved it 4 957

Baby's high

By Anonymous - 08/01/2021 17:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 164

By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 212

You deserved it 2 757

Next

Top comments

HeavyMetalViking 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:07

Oh, I love watching one sided conversations. "I think you're addicted to the weed" "......" "Oh yeah?!" "......" "Say something, you ******* pussy!"

x_Cupcakes 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 12:06

So, what did your cat say?

Comments

babybatman 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 20:57

you know your cool when... so what all did your cat have to say?

waterboy14 7

Thursday 12 May 2011 21:11

I don't think cats serve their own cat food... your the one making it fat....

fox333 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 22:25

ummm catnip is like crack to cats and can cause health problems!

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Friday 13 May 2011 13:30

Only if you give it to them in gratuitous amounts.

Kesha_Mei_Ash 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:17

Your cat's ears probably went back and then she just got up and left. (NOT like I would know or anything :)

XxbrokeNCYDExX 6

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:46

**** your cats life

Glassmaster 0

Thursday 12 May 2011 23:59

You're not my mom are you? She does that all the time. Except she doesn't talk about catnip. She talks about...nothing that I can understand. It all sounds like childish gibberish.

TangoLuvr 1

Friday 13 May 2011 0:06

my cat is so addicted that when you rattle the drawer, he comes running from anywhere in the house.

livyyyy 0

Friday 13 May 2011 1:08

niiiiccee when I talk to my cat she hisses at me an runs away. love right?

someone3225 2

Friday 13 May 2011 3:33

Cat does what cat wants... If cat wants catnip, cat will get catnip!!!

loser4life831 0

Friday 13 May 2011 3:45

you do

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Jealousy Love Argument Fight Family Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Anger issues Birds Weddings Pranks TikTok YouTube Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me to a movie after days of not seeing me. This long-awaited date involved me paying for food and my movie ticket when he ran out of cash again. He then dumped me as we left the theater walking to his car. Yes, I financed my own breakup date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 842

You deserved it 4 875

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 053

You deserved it 3 331

The Top

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 379

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 928

You deserved it 59 174

Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 477

You deserved it 2 223

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 265

You deserved it 67 494

Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 947

You deserved it 4 203

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 794

You deserved it 39 436