Intimacy: Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 577

You deserved it 13 120

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 650

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 163

You deserved it 17 277

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 565

You deserved it 4 755

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By Traveler - 09/10/2015 02:06

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 1 658

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By ... - 27/11/2008 05:30 - France

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 888

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 4 282

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 978

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

Comments

Peroxide 3

Monday 1 June 2009 8:16

Confucius say, man who walk through airport metal detector sideways going to Bangkok

doof_fisch 2

Monday 1 June 2009 8:39

They should have escorted you to the "****"pit.

trapiadora 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:17

#23 what are the odds lol . Wtf and fyl cause that must have been embarasing. Atleast it was big. lol

fmlreaderr 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:23

# 1, 11, 29, 64, 97, 98... and a lot of others... hahaha this FML has some of the funniest comments I have ever read!! Dude that must have been embarrassingggg

fmlreaderr 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:29

Oh, and this apparently happened to another FML user too... except he was supposedly "excited" to see his father... weird.

Abcdfg 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:29

clearly, men in blue uniform make you horny. I could imagine ur kids also being gay cuz, well, like father like son.

Mathias816 0

Monday 1 June 2009 11:52

All the people that think how did he get a boner in the airport are 1) women 2) people who need viagra.

circayouandme 0

Monday 1 June 2009 12:18

Hm. Airports turn you on?

TomFantastic 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:13

This is pure genius, probably not one to tell the grandchildren though

st87 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:30

Okay so apparently the term 'explode in my pants' have been taken as a totally different definition at an airport then! Thanks for the warning lol. Anyway what the hell was arousing you??