Intimacy: Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out...

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 577

You deserved it 13 120

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 650

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 163

You deserved it 17 277

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 565

You deserved it 4 755

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

By Traveler - 09/10/2015 02:06

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 1 658

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By ... - 27/11/2008 05:30 - France

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 122

You deserved it 3 888

Revealing

By doody - 30/12/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 258

You deserved it 4 282

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 358

You deserved it 978

_insertnamehere_ 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:55

well, they had to make it sure it wouldn't go off at any time...

josface 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Poor kids.

Comments

laugh_it_off 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:54

omg how do you manage to get an erection at the AIRPORT?

I'madumbass 19

Saturday 25 November 2017 7:03

Have you not read the comments? Apparently, males can get elections randomly. idk how true that is exactly? I'm a girl. Male population: please help!!!

fosizzlemynizzlE 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:06

besides the fact that you had one, how was that not a complete boner killer?

bosco_kk 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:23

At least they know you don't have any kind of erectile dysfunction....

babydoll86_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:23

WTH? Why did you have a boner at the airport? Weirdo.

davdude12 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:27

Tuck your boner under your belt next time u can... I do that if I'm somewhere fancy or work. And I think all us guys can agree that getting a boner in sweat pants or gym shorts can be embarrasing or good sometimes haha

Eiotlrd 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:43

too bad an ex wasn't there

floatingdonut08 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:46

Feel free to hang that on your wall of shame. I imagine your whole family is scarred for life. The good news is.. I laughed out loud. Well done.

BaldOuting 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:50

damn - you can't control yourself that badly?

spillproof 0

Monday 1 June 2009 6:55

Some of you people really need to learn that erections can happen anywhere and for no reason. Random erections.

batrob 7

Monday 1 June 2009 7:29

joining the mile high club at 0' your supposed to wait until the plane is up in the air and the captain has turned off the seat belt sign. then you go into a bathroom and enjoy the flight