Work: Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective...

By Silver_Samurai - 09/02/2012 03:24 - Netherlands

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 710

You deserved it 10 508

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Same thing different taste

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 832

You deserved it 2 961

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By dr mamour - 30/01/2013 21:57 - France - Paris

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 089

You deserved it 4 088

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 994

You deserved it 5 054

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 4 438

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 118

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 5 834

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 17:18 - United States

Today, my ass decided that it was the perfect day to exhibit the diarrhea side-effect of medicine I'm taking. I definitely made a lasting impression on my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 222

You deserved it 2 977

NiiTeH 7

Thursday 9 February 2012 8:45

The best way to greet a patient.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Thursday 9 February 2012 8:46

Theres no way that couldve been awkward.

Comments

Fisahgurl 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 17:35

Gotta love a nurse who's honest with the patent :) haha FYL tho

ilove80smetal 8

Thursday 9 February 2012 17:37

Wow you don't waste time do you?

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:00

You should be the honey badger's nurse, because honey badger doesn't give a shit.

ForeverAloneGal 23

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:40

It's blunt. I like your style.

ERIKER 11

Thursday 9 February 2012 18:53

When I read your name I already knew that you had to be a Dutchie like me ;)

music87 14

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:17

LOL this made me laugh too hard. Hahaha

CharliesCool2084 8

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:19

How did you manage that?

ryanf395 1

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:36

1st fml that literally made me lol in age!!! That is legendary

ohai12 6

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:45

And they replied...?

PaigeySlade 7

Friday 10 February 2012 2:29

They replied by ******** their pants because he was so blunt about it

upsidedownfrownn 5

Thursday 9 February 2012 21:53

Sounds like something that should be on a house episode

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

Today, I am so sick and tired of watching my brother get everything he wants in life from being a bastard. He does everything I would consider bad and it’s made him rich and successful. I try and be a good person and all it got me is fired, and in danger of losing my car and house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 2 667

Today, I was in school when a guy grabbed my breast, so I swore at him and shoved him away. I got detention and he walked away unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 839

You deserved it 243

Today, I managed to pay my rent in full for once. My bank called me on suspicion of fraud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 445

You deserved it 828

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 019

You deserved it 9 490

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 411

Today, the first thing I noticed about my blind date was the clump of nose hairs sticking out and mingling with his beard. In an effort to not stare, I periodically glanced away. After a while, he asked which guy I was into at the table next to us, because I was spending so much time looking in that direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 862

You deserved it 1 950