Intimacy: Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming... - FML

By damnit - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 719

You deserved it 4 273

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Spicy

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 708

You deserved it 9 335

By Ryan - 11/06/2011 14:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 298

You deserved it 7 471

Inactive

By inbogota - 06/03/2021 15:30 - Colombia

Spicy

Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 163

By margelover - 11/10/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Spicy

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 132

You deserved it 9 045

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Spicy

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 711

You deserved it 3 993

I'm so hot and lonely

By lonely dreams - 01/01/2013 17:26 - United States - Reno

Spicy

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 405

You deserved it 6 798

By Dead_Fox - 21/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Jonesboro

Spicy

Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 3 890

Unfulfilled

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 00:00 - Romania - Campina

Spicy

Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 155

By jakeeey - 18/01/2013 01:16 - Canada - Brampton

Spicy

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 10 935

By lonerjik - 19/01/2011 12:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 10 830

Next

Top comments

n1rvanat1zed 0

Friday 16 October 2009 23:19

Your dreams are saving on your electricity bill, how is this a FML? I understand the whole "not being able to get laid" thing, but look at the brightside!

perdix 29

Saturday 17 October 2009 0:18

At least your dream was related to sex. It would have been weird if you woke up covered in your own baby batter after dreaming about NASCAR, fishing or power tools.

Comments

theonlysweetpea 10

Monday 16 August 2010 6:33

Ouch!

david000123 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 0:12

WTF dude or dudet

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 514

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 808

You deserved it 9 768

The Top

Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 148

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 881

You deserved it 3 295

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 665

You deserved it 2 511

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 879

You deserved it 3 095

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 895

You deserved it 3 179

Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door. A clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was OK. I have to go back next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 005

You deserved it 8 540