Miscellaneous: Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself....

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 9 042

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 2 323

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 768

You deserved it 4 560

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 961

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 389

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 64 820

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

Treat yourself!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 172

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 158

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 678

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 127

unimportant 0

Monday 9 March 2009 7:24

personally i would have shot myself after that but very interesting..

NotSprinkles 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:36

LOL!!!! In the future, it'd probably be best not to sleep in front of your relatives. :)

Comments

MiGman 5

Saturday 2 April 2011 11:01

hahaha not really 38

MoonXAngel 7

Tuesday 12 April 2011 3:43

Haha, that'll make the next family reunion interesting.

Dango989 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 0:12

Gffvifd,

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 14:33

I hope you enjoyed yourself at least. FYL.

Legendslayer222 26

Monday 18 July 2011 22:28

Well their anger is better than waking to find them watching you intently.

KaylieBieber13 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:36

BAHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!!

BIGmoney107 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:05

HAHAHAHAHA!!! FYL, betcha wish you didn't have to wake up! huh?

balviet123 2

Wednesday 11 January 2012 4:27

And why were they staring at you...?

Iellwen 12

Wednesday 11 January 2012 12:54

So, did you stare back and said it was all your hot cousin's fault? :)

memyselfandI07 1

Friday 17 February 2012 19:50

Funniest FML ever! ;D

ClassicalAnime 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 22:09

Your a pig

IntoTheClouds 42

Wednesday 12 September 2012 8:13

"Your" an idiot. Please explain how this event makes the OP a pig? Do you know what a wet dream is?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 652

The Top

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 119 375

Today, I refused to manually count $64 in pennies from a customer, because I would hold up the line and I was one of three registers open. In fact, I advised her to use the Coinstar machine in the lobby. She refused, threw a fit and demanded my manager for being “incompetent”. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

Today, I’ve been on the waiting list for therapy for months, after years and years of childhood trauma. I’m haunted daily by the memories of what happened and I’m still no closer to the top of the list. I’m broken inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 118

Today, my youth pastor died and I was crying. My boss told me to dry my tears, because it was affecting my coworkers. Sorry I'm human and cry when someone I know dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 171

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 535

You deserved it 4 950

Today, I got a rental car because my car needed new tires and I had a long drive ahead of me. Today, the rental car got a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 380

You deserved it 1 095