Love: Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back...

By PanFace - 13/10/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 117

You deserved it 121 362

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/04/2017 16:00

Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 921

You deserved it 716

Scapegoat with fries

By Juan Carr - 02/02/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 126

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 46 119

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 00:00

Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 162

Fight clubbed

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 140

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 769

You deserved it 36 011

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

Riled up

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife blamed me for the washing machine breaking. When I told her it wasn’t me because I haven’t used it this week, she immediately changed direction and started blaming me for not doing enough around the house, which is utter bullshit. I know I do my share, I think she just wanted to fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 136

influenza54 1

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:18

Tooo bad it wasn't an iron skillet. LOL he deserves it

IdolChatter 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:13

Yeah, his command was an act of genius & worked out so well didn't it. He's lucky she didn't come back with a butcher's knife.

Comments

DynamicDave 11

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:48

I love it! you're seriously my idol for that. And also for your username. Also, I have a sexist joke to contribute: How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow? Give her a shovel!

toink 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:53

OP, you're a horrible person. I would say one of your parents was a female dingo, but insulting dingos is something I never do.

UnitedNinjas 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:49

Agreed!

luke_dawg2 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:56

you ****** deserve that you shovenist bitch! (and i'm a dude)

kukopia 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 18:15

He didn't say anything about shoven her

arques 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:56

I enjoy a good sexist joke as much as the next person and it was definitely worth it but even you know you deserved it.

mmfgk 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:58

YDI for being a sexist prick.

calikola 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:00

Chauvinism FAIL.

marquisrs 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:03

ur officially her bitch

AndreaHatesYou1 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:11

You 100% deserved it you sexist ****. Hopefully next time she just dumps boiling water on your lap instead.

Chowi_fml 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:17

Woah now, that's kind of cruel, don't you think?

growingupnextmon 3

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:35

Hrrm Im getting the feeling its that time of month?

Sprinter136 2

Wednesday 14 October 2009 3:57

Yes, because women can only get angry when they're in PMS, and then its highly unacceptable, because they should be using that energy making sandwiches instead; however, men can be assholes anytime they please. /sarcasm

Chowi_fml 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:16

Feminists unite!

sandwichbait 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 4:12

For some reason, I'm thinking of Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion, and the grits incident. But that wouldn't really fit here.

soulonfire928 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:19

I'm a chick, but if I'd been told to get back in the kitchen, I would've started laughing my ass off. I was cracking up when I read the OP said that. And then laughed even harder to find out she smacked him with a frying pan. Hilarity all around.