Work: Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I... - FML

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 904

You deserved it 24 410

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Same thing different taste

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 1 585

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 123

You deserved it 5 300

By Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 936

You deserved it 8 314

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 853

You deserved it 31 224

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 3 976

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 412

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 148

By convict possibly - 26/05/2017 18:00

Today, I got to try on a stunning suit that made me the handsomest man in the world. Upcoming prom? No. Wedding? No. I attended a date... A court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 390

You deserved it 2 097

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

Next

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:06

Priceless. But depending on the case, there is a small possibility, you were still correct.

OppositesAttract_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:03

Nice. XD FYL, but it's not your fault, we all mess up sometimes like that. ;P

Comments

dogsickftl 0

Friday 12 June 2009 22:46

@5 They said ; "$20 an hour"

Sportsfan86 3

Friday 12 June 2009 23:02

Epic fail.

awkwardness 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 1:27

lolol. extreme.

oligopsony 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 10:26

congrats on your first trial tho

DieterDerBlau 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 10:39

So, know what they call 1,000,000 attorneys at the bottom of the ocean??? A GOOD START.

Goggles 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 18:33

Id hire you.

mercedeslove 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 22:43

when I was on the fire department, I was reading the upcoming events. Instead of reading wild hose bash, I read wild ****** bash. They all laughed and said thing like 'well I am going' I laughed too, but I was so embarrassed.

brunoisbeast 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 7:56

Word pwnage

tweedledee_92 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 10:49

They should put this in Law and Order. That show needs some lulz.

f_all_our_lives 4

Monday 15 June 2009 9:38

LOL prostitution funny as hell ahaha

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Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 490

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 3 948

The Top

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 140

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 93

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 75

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 2 335

Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 515

You deserved it 218

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 454

You deserved it 6 285