Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with... - FML

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 412

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Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell, part 47757

By Sofvcked - 29/06/2022 10:00

Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 23/01/2013 01:33 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 978

You deserved it 2 551

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 142

Not helping

By StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 202

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 726

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 368

Landlords are scum

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 19:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my landlord is sleeping with my girlfriend, and he won’t let me out of my lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 505

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 24/07/2016 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 246

You deserved it 1 434

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 452

You deserved it 4 363

By Dark_Cecilia - 01/12/2015 22:53 - United States - Fremont

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 053

You deserved it 2 727

Next

Top comments

TCRII 29

Saturday 13 July 2019 6:10

So you both screw people for money...

mike3775 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 2:50

Well you have job security being your roommates lawyer.

Comments

Daniel Sandstrom 6

Saturday 13 July 2019 0:57

Sooo, you're a prude and you can't justify someone trying to get through life doing what they can even if it means they are in the adult industry as it is legal across most of the known world as long as they have a registered business, and if they had to bring clients home, as you would as well, they need to notify you

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:57

Dude are you stupid dumb or retarded? If this is in America and several other countries it’s outlawed, and either way even if it’s occurring in a country with nonexistent or regulated laws, it’s still a ******* concern that op’s a lawyer and therefore has moral implications to his/her job?

EmDizzle2007 28

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:26

times are hard.

bobsanction 18

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:44

You're a lawyer and you still need a roommate? Must be a shit lawyer.

mike3775 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 2:50

Well you have job security being your roommates lawyer.

PenguinPal3017 19

Saturday 13 July 2019 3:16

How is being a lawyer relevant? You think you'll make a bad impression with the police?

Memnoc 26

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:58

They could be disbarred for consorting with a criminal. It's against the moral code.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Saturday 13 July 2019 7:26

I'm fairly certain that having a friend who happens to commit a criminal offense is not legal grounds for disbarment. If the lawyer was found to have committed perjury on that friends behalf regarding their illegal behaviors, yes, but for just being friends I don't believe so.

raven_of_azarath 34

Saturday 13 July 2019 17:10

But isn’t that basically what defense lawyers do, lie to keep their clients out of jail?

Emiweb 9

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:38

Sounds like a dodgy 90s sitcom.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:58

Sounds like live-in job security!

TCRII 29

Saturday 13 July 2019 6:10

So you both screw people for money...

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 July 2019 7:07

Well, now you got the possibility to expand your job to lawyer AND part-time pimp! Depending on how much she works, there's got to be some money in that. Wish you the best of luck!

donthatemebut 14

Saturday 13 July 2019 8:48

You need a tv show.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 839

You deserved it 1 874

Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 898

You deserved it 9 766

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 156

You deserved it 12 722

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 897

You deserved it 9 088

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 925

You deserved it 6 862

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that he sees no future with me. It's alright though, because he says we can still "coast along" until he meets someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 706

You deserved it 2 086