Work: Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I... - FML

By apav - 11/06/2009 11:52 - Australia

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 904

You deserved it 24 410

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Contempt

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 1 585

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 123

You deserved it 5 300

By Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 936

You deserved it 8 314

By mustanggt - 10/07/2012 15:39 - United States - La Porte

Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 853

You deserved it 31 224

By anonymous - 09/10/2014 22:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 326

You deserved it 3 976

By thegrandchawhee - 29/08/2015 17:13 - United States - Yakima

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 1 813

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 412

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 148

By convict possibly - 26/05/2017 18:00

Today, I got to try on a stunning suit that made me the handsomest man in the world. Upcoming prom? No. Wedding? No. I attended a date... A court date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 390

You deserved it 2 097

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 15:34 - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 2 575

Next

Top comments

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:06

Priceless. But depending on the case, there is a small possibility, you were still correct.

OppositesAttract_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 16:03

Nice. XD FYL, but it's not your fault, we all mess up sometimes like that. ;P

Comments

thezoramonster 0

Friday 12 June 2009 2:22

might be time to consider a different career. alpaca farming, for instance.

cattoe7 0

Friday 12 June 2009 2:36

well maybe she was.. sooo maybe you were right hmmmmm...

_DumbAZz_ 0

Friday 12 June 2009 2:55

I'm sure it happens to everyone. :3

Dunbar00 1

Friday 12 June 2009 2:59

HAHA Freudian slip perhaps

letthemxeatcake 0

Friday 12 June 2009 3:21

ROFL

candii_fml 0

Friday 12 June 2009 3:33

hahahahahaaha ohh wooww im sorry FYL but thats hillarious :) if i need a lawyer make sure i hire you for sure :D (im bein serious not insultin there ) ^

domii_fml 0

Friday 12 June 2009 3:52

LMAO LMAO

ithedarkknight 0

Friday 12 June 2009 3:59

Planning what your going to do after work already??? I MEAN COME ON WAIT TILL YOU LEAVE THE OFFICE SHEESH!

aquarius6 0

Friday 12 June 2009 4:02

Funny !!!!!!!

sofiesmurf 0

Friday 12 June 2009 4:23

HAHAHAHA I'VE DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THING

12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Health Covid Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Animals Dogs Photography Art Videos Intimacy Sex Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 975

You deserved it 10 416

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 280

Today, I had to stay up until 5 AM running complex queries, one at a time, for a comprehensive report requested by our head of accounting. Instead of a "Thank you!", I got a message from my supervisor telling me to re-run them all, as he had messed up a single calculation. Coffee jitters aren't why I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 100

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my dad will die without knowing I have tattoos on my body. I'm afraid my dad will suffer a deadly heart attack due to the revelation, as he had two heart failures in the past. My dad is still the sort of person who thinks that people with tattoos are criminals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 365

Today, despite the schedule saying I was off, I found out I’m supposed to be working because my boss changed the schedule without my knowledge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 565

You deserved it 222

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 1 187

Today, I learned that the starting date for my class was a typo. Instead of 6/22, it was 6/2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 121