Intimacy: Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling...

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By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 3 161

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By 12MONTHLEASE - 22/04/2016 00:30 - United States

Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 809

You deserved it 1 767

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 667

You deserved it 4 990

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 323

You deserved it 6 254

Nice place to live!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 065

You deserved it 3 417

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 1 440

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 4 400

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 414

You deserved it 3 803

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 324

You deserved it 5 912

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 174

You deserved it 565

Get it on, bang a gong

By can’t sleep - 17/06/2020 17:04

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 039

You deserved it 369

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:09

Free ****?

hannahmorgan06 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:07

ironic.

Comments

gmstarry 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 19:07

good timing

thiscrazything 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 20:01

Yep, that when you turn up the stereo

DomoLaDii 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:44

hahaha epic win!!!!!! lmao!

perdix 29

Thursday 15 September 2011 22:47

Full-blown. FTW. Having sex when you are just partially blown is ok, but it's terrific to get the full-blown treatment from time to time.

blackmetalfan 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 23:00

time to go get a different place haha

ellakacyme22 6

Thursday 15 September 2011 23:35

you wouldn't know were to turn how embarrassed were you

chelsea3111996 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 23:51

Damn.

HomeAl0ne 20

Friday 16 September 2011 0:08

Install an opera singer and a drummer in two other apartments and that should do the trick.

seeb49 7

Friday 16 September 2011 0:54

I wouldn't mind hearing my- oh, wait no, they're in their 90's... Nevermind.

yankfan89 27

Friday 16 September 2011 2:25

Invest in noise canceling headphones.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend showed me his bucket list. Normal bucket lists are beautiful, full of sweet things like, "See Paris with my wife" or, "Learn to play the piano". His was all childish destructive bullshit like, "Throw dynamite out of a car window" or, "Get my ass eaten out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 348

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this only after she's moved in, realizing two of the guys were my close friends, or realizing I'd given up my dream career for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 226

You deserved it 337

The Top

Today, while at my mom’s house, my mom told me that I need to seriously curb my food intake. Then I went to my dad’s house and he told me I need to gain weight. I can’t win here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 772

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 445

You deserved it 5 834

Today, my boyfriend proudly showed me that he's put me in his favourites contact list on his phone with a heart image. Cute, but I saw another contact on the list with a heart image as well: his favourite take out restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 642

You deserved it 746

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 4 372

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 204

You deserved it 12 852

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 3 066