Intimacy: Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked... - FML

By Doesn't Matter Had Sex - 09/09/2015 02:37 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Spicy

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 452

You deserved it 4 510

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Same thing different taste

By Sally - 31/10/2018 22:00 - United States

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 825

You deserved it 1 322

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 477

You deserved it 6 198

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 043

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 554

You deserved it 69 895

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 8 900

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 663

You deserved it 10 158

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Spicy

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 32 903

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 081

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 479

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 8 945

Next

Top comments

cooltatgar 31

Wednesday 9 September 2015 17:36

"Don't worry sir ... triplets it is"

Swandive235 27

Wednesday 9 September 2015 17:40

At least he walked off, could have been a lot worse.

Comments

kitttkattt 10

Tuesday 3 November 2015 22:20

why didn't you lock the door?

AmbrosiaFan 18

Sunday 30 April 2017 21:44

why is it an fml? sounds like it didn't bother him.

sharond23 10

Sunday 26 November 2017 1:25

ydi for having sex with the dad there.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, I was working at my job as cashier. This really attractive girl who often comes in walked in, so I mustered up the courage to ask her out by writing my number on a dollar bill. She paid and the amount her change happened to be a dollar. I go to hand her the money when she sees it and says, "Keep the change!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 339

You deserved it 18 163

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 430

You deserved it 2 013

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 971

You deserved it 24 828

Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way, he asked us why we looked so tired. We just said we were tired from moving house. Truth is, our room is right next to theirs. We heard everything. Loud and clear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 447

You deserved it 2 401

Today, I got kicked in the balls twice in two hours. The first was my (now ex) girlfriend when I confronted her about cheating on me, and the second was her overprotective friend who thought that I was the cheater. One is a cheerleader, and the other is a soccer player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 127

You deserved it 363

Today, a house I'm working in burned down overnight. My entire cordless tool line up and everything else needed to remodel a 3-story home is gone. Almost $14000. The only way I will be somewhat, maybe, possibly, reimbursed is if I stay on to rebuild the home. I don't have anything left to even start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 107