By killingmyselfimmediately - 07/01/2019 20:00

Today, I had the flu and couldn't go to school. My dad called in and told them that I couldn't be there because I have an itchy anus. Not only that, but my birthday's tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 547
You deserved it 232
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Top comments

BloodyButUnbowed 28

Your dad is a twit, but bear in mind that only the attendance officer even heard his lie. Nobody else at the school even knows he said it.

16 1
user53658 15

Call his work and do the same, see how he likes it.

5 0

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Well, there goes your chance for birthday anal! At least with your school chums. There’s always the local truck stop, unless word about your itchy anus has gone out over CB.

9 5
Gwengreen 6

Aaaaaand he’s back ladies and gentlemen

3 1
BloodyButUnbowed 28

Your dad is a twit, but bear in mind that only the attendance officer even heard his lie. Nobody else at the school even knows he said it.

16 1
zuckerburg 21

ah the dad must be an OG troll then, telling the one person who won't tell anyone else that it's her birthday

0 0
julfunky 29

OHMYGODOHMYGOD. Your dad is HILARIOUS.

3 3
BurnInDemonFire 34

That's an itch only certain people will scratch.

0 0
user53658 15

Call his work and do the same, see how he likes it.

5 0
zuckerburg 21

He lied about your birthday!?? WTF! divorce him! oh wait...

0 1
Barelysane 2

Hey y'all, OP here. Thank you soooo much for your support. I am currently planning revenge by emptying my hole puncher into his air vents and put them on high. I love him, but he's an asshole sometimes.

0 0