I don't know who lied and told you that. Americans speak English. They speak a dialect of English known as American English whereas the rest of the English speaking world speaks (or at least learns) British English, however they still speak English. There is no such language as American. Unless, of course, you're being sarcastic. In which case, disregard my comment.

I agreed with most of what you said, but Canadians learn Canadian English - it shares many common threads with both British English and American English but also has some influence from Native and French cultures.

Afrikaans and Dutch are two different languages, and only the most basic of sentences could be understood by both. "American" is the language ignorant Americans believe they speak, when they are in reality speaking American English. Which is a dialect of English, not an individual language. Spelling "colours" without a U doesn't make it another language, neither having a handful of words that differ. If you'd paid any attention to the language you claim to speak, you would have notice that using different synonyms for the same thing happens within a country's border too. It is also called a dialect, and it is responsible for why some regions say "soda" and others say "pop". If you do not understand enough British English to be able to have a proper conversation, it is not because you speak "American" and not "British" - It is because you are uneducated and with the vocabulary of a five year old.

Some people have no sense of humour. I didn't expect anyone to take that comment seriously.

Bringing generalized political stereotypes into a situation that doesn't involve politics at all is an excellent demonstration of your ignorance.