Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 21:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 373

You deserved it 8 535

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Same thing different taste

Manchild

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 4 336

Control

By Person - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that'll be happening on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 685

You deserved it 2 441

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 474

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 567

You deserved it 577

Smart move

By Triedtobecool - 06/04/2009 02:22 - Canada

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 973

You deserved it 99 953

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 040

You deserved it 5 529

By letstradefamilies - 21/12/2015 21:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 380

You deserved it 1 841

By Robert - 28/12/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend's mother invited me to her 18th birthday. She lied about her age. I have been screwing a minor for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 769

You deserved it 2 090

By Michelle - 15/08/2011 08:15 - United States

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 208

You deserved it 23 200

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 341

Next

Top comments

fatman1970 25

Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:13

Your 24? Surely you have the right to meet whatever boys you want.

imnotc00l 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 10:15

If your parents aren't allowing you to live your life it might be time to try and move out.

Comments

Richard6036 13

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:42

If you find your own place and able do it on your own back you would need to bribe anybody for anything you're getting a little old to be living with mommy and daddy

itsy4boi 14

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:42

YDI for not just saying 'shut up I'm 24'

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:51

You are 24 and have to "sneak out" behind you Mom's back to see a guy. Sorry, OP, that's all on you. YDI

SamSwebb 24

Tuesday 20 October 2015 14:59

24? Strap on a pair

rec_chem 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:01

If you keep acting like a teenager, your parents will continue to treat you like one.

mads_fml 7

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:11

Is OP a boy with a conservative mom? Or is OP a girl with a batshit insane mom?

tigger3370 21

Tuesday 20 October 2015 15:57

If you're 24 and still living at home, then you deserve it.

WreckeRalph36 18

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:18

Could be understandable of you were in So Cal lol

ShreddedGold 7

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:22

At least you're buying him a good game

MalekiMaker99 22

Tuesday 20 October 2015 22:42

Is halo 5 even out?

TheGingerKang 3

Wednesday 21 October 2015 6:43

Next Tuesday it is.

bad_boyfriend 10

Tuesday 20 October 2015 16:26

If you're 24 it's your own fault. People can only control you at that age if you let them.

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The Top

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 13

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I'd never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. Without thinking, I said, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 160

You deserved it 67 150

The Top

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

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You deserved it 466

Today, I was at the library, and had finally found the book I'd been looking for, when a man approaches me, says "The main character dies at the end", and walks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 500

You deserved it 3 437

Today, my friends told me that my girlfriend of over a year and a half refers to me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat as "the monster I can't get rid of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 208

Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 107

You deserved it 9 495

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I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 1 620

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 517

You deserved it 2 496