Love and Health: Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school....

By VetTechStudent - 25/10/2018 15:30

Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school. My boyfriend thinks I'll give him rabies and refuses to let me sleep in the same bed with him or initiate sex. I need two more shots over the next 3 weeks, which means sleeping on the couch for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 764

You deserved it 365

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Last Week Tonight

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 02:00

Today, I realised I had a bad month. Last week, I threw out my back; the week before, my girlfriend got a cold sore; this week, I got chickenpox at the ripe age of 31 years. When I went to bed last night, I found my girlfriend sound asleep with her vibrator in one hand. We haven't had sex for so long, I can't even blame her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 258

What a catch

By Anonymous - 15/06/2021 08:00

Today, my boyfriend is so scared of COVID that he takes precautions beyond what health professionals recommend to satisfy his OCD. He told me he wouldn't be getting the vaccine because he "won't be controlled by the government." Not to worry, he will just continue to be the unbearable control freak he transformed into since this all began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 206

Weeks?

By not getting any - 31/03/2020 08:00

Today, I’m allergic to all forms of hormonal birth control, and due to the virus outbreak, I can’t get my implant replaced. We’re in quarantine, and my boyfriend and I just used our last condom. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 570

By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/06/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 008

You deserved it 7 931

Thrashing

By bad sleeper - 19/05/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 28/08/2018 06:00

Today, my boyfriend's dog, which he got even though he knew I was allergic, literally got in between us while we were having sex. He didn't stop and got mad when I did. Now I'm itchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 025

You deserved it 352

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

Get vaccinated, you doofuses

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 08:00 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came into town for the weekend. A proof of vaccination card to enter non-essential businesses also started. My dear boyfriend refuses to sign up for the card. Guess our nights out will be grocery shopping and him waiting outside while I shop anywhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 384

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 2 608

By booearns - 17/04/2012 03:47 - United States

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 952

You deserved it 3 181

cptncuttlefish 24

Thursday 25 October 2018 15:42

Why do you have to sleep on the couch because he’s ******* stupid?

MA_medQ 7

Thursday 25 October 2018 16:25

First of all, why are you dating a dumbass? Second of all, why are you letting him kick you out of bed? He can sleep on the couch if he is too stupid to understand how vaccines work. Third, bring him with you to the doctor next time you go get a shot so the doc can explain how vaccines work to him.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 October 2018 18:35

They’re a way you can have sex right away and sleep in a bed. Answer: New boyfriend.

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:41

I think your boyfriend is defective, you should check the warranty to see if it covers "stupid"

jsikes 8

Friday 26 October 2018 3:32

You live with your boyfriend in high school? Thats your first mistake

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 26 October 2018 4:52

If your boyfriend is that paranoid, he can sleep on the damn couch.

faifai_fml 21

Friday 26 October 2018 4:55

I'm hitting YDI for not grabbing the bed and telling him he's welcome to the couch if he thinks it's so great.

ViviMage 38

Friday 26 October 2018 5:09

Just attack him in the middle of the night in your lingerie with a mouth full of whipped cream!

WHSKitty4ever 23

Friday 26 October 2018 15:59

Your boyfriend is an idiot

Gibbsy326 6

Friday 26 October 2018 17:21

Nah...he's the scaredy cat- you kick his ass to the couch.

Squidgegg 4

Saturday 27 October 2018 0:55

You definitely deserved it for dating an absolute dumbass. Explain to him how vaccines work, or you'll be spending your hard-earned vet money in a few years feeding and housing this absolute idiot. What a prat. He's so dumb that if you chucked him in a barrel of **** he'd come out sucking his thumb.

bass_ftp 12

Saturday 27 October 2018 5:52

Hate to say this, but an alternative explanation to all these ' your boyfriend is a dumbass' comments is that he's just using this excuse as a reason not to want to get intimate with you. I mean, I know there are people this stupid, but this explanation makes more sense to me.