Intimacy: Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene....

By SOdamnNervous - 29/08/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 581

You deserved it 53 219

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 20:41 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 816

You deserved it 16 775

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 817

You deserved it 8 575

By paula434 - 05/12/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 4 034

Not now, Cooper

By Me. - 27/10/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 004

You deserved it 8 875

Nervous Nelly

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 138

Ever decreasing circles

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had to give presentation at work, for which I'd extensively prepared. However, as soon as I started speaking, I had a sudden panic attack and forgot everything I'd rehearsed. I stumbled through the presentation, feeling the embarrassment steadily grow in front of my colleagues. I almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 177

By Anna - 06/04/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 585

You deserved it 64 741

By buster - 13/02/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 8 222

By notsoclean - 24/12/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 482

You deserved it 3 697

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 8 150

warmfuzzy 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 23:03

is being a "hot blonde" all it takes for guys to get hard? really???

Bathory_fml 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 23:04

Because movies totally give the best advice. YDI.

Comments

mushrooms_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:16

Yes u asshole its called graduate school! Duh

gummibehrs 4

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:18

Nice.

likeOMGwow 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:21

could be in grad school... way to be a jerk on the internet

shit_happens101 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:50

PAJAMAS. You're supposed to imagine them in their PAJAMAS. -sigh- Guys.

mandi625 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 14:01

LOL. That could work.

blah123blah 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 3:55

Do the superbad technique... Tuck your boner up into the waste of your pants. Hides it very well, and feels awsome. Sence you were in front of a crowd, grab your junk from your pokets, only with finger tips, not with whole hand. Then slide your thingy upwards. Might take some practice. Your welcome for the boner hider techniques, they work.

__iamcanadian__ 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 4:10

hah this technique actually works really well

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:49

Everyone knows that trick. I know it and I'm a chick. Rhyme unintentional.

RatIsKing 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 4:43

so fake and/or stupid it isn't funny.

ditzykayla 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 5:11

lol at #64 you should so make a website of "how to hide your boner techniques" I'm a girl and probably wouldn't read them. But hey it's a good idea right? This is if there isn't already one out there. =/

apocalocyntosis 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 5:18

YDI for thinking that would actually work.

Bree16 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 6:09

haha thats rly funny

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 6:46

Why would imagining the audience naked ever help stage fright? It would just be incredibly distracting, as the OP found out. Here's what might work: imagine that they're all wearing Snuggies.