Intimacy: Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I...

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 656

You deserved it 41 904

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Same thing different taste

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 13 892

Pure animal magnetism

By Anonymous - 29/01/2015 21:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a one-night stand. After holding in my farts all night, as you should, I decided enough was enough and tried to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out; instead I shat myself in her bed. I was naked at the time, so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 16 873

By CollegeFreshman - 11/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I heard a knock on my door and, thinking it was my student adviser, opened it. I was greeted by a drunk girl, who pushed her way into my dorm room, informed me that she lived here last year, and then told me that she lost her virginity in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 611

You deserved it 3 749

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 610

Small world

By Anonymous - 13/12/2018 03:00

Today, I got back to my hotel at the same time as my supervisor and realized we had rooms right next to each other. I thought it was funny and said good night to him… only to remember that I had slept with HIS boss last night. We were not quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 3 849

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 715

You deserved it 2 361

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 703

You deserved it 43 796

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 416

You deserved it 10 269

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 325

You deserved it 5 233

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 7 December 2010 22:33

What the hell were you thinking leaving a stranger in your flat? While you were gone, he could have tripped over your cat, stolen your cake, and emptied your apartment! Dumbass.

ClickMyPicture 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 22:13

LOL! It must be fate ♥

Comments

valri3 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 0:57

I think it is some apartment building. Sad that most people can not stop being sarcastic in when people pose a question.

earwig_ 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 1:32

i am loving the fact that this mustve happened at my uni.

stronghand0331 17

Wednesday 8 December 2010 2:23

I'm pretty sure either door would be sufficient.

meganasoarus 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 2:52

hahaha I can just imagine the look on your face.

zanguard 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 3:25

YDI you dirty, slutty ***** you <3

5upernova 3

Wednesday 8 December 2010 4:16

Did anyone not noticed how she said that she left him alone in her flat? Sounds like luck to me that he did not steal and/or destroy her flat.

dudeitsdanny 9

Wednesday 8 December 2010 6:44

Nawh. None of the previous posters who mentioned it noticed. I wasnt aware till I saw this. You.. You have a keen eye.

missbadluk 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:23

Yes. Half of the previous 37 people did. Stupid people are annoying. Just sayin.

jxmadison 0

Wednesday 8 December 2010 4:39

this oddly sounds like a movie plot 0.o

mrjude 3

Wednesday 8 December 2010 5:05

I am laughing at all of the idiots insulting you for having a one night stand. I mean, seriously, that is what makes you deserve it? LOL. Wow, people are pathetic. Really though, this isn't deserving of this site. I'd put this on My Life Is Average or something. It's much more suited to there. This is more of an awesome, weird moment than a bad one!