Animals: Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my...

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 656

You deserved it 7 400

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Same thing different taste

Pink tax

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 2 217

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 300

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 950

You deserved it 1 096

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 002

It's Caturday, respect our feline leaders

By believekimber - 09/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 270

Bad boy

By darlingditz - 02/04/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 521

You deserved it 12 531

By Genuine D - 13/05/2017 08:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 490

You deserved it 449

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 443

You deserved it 9 333

By LostInSunday - 15/08/2016 08:11

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 269

You deserved it 2 805

Zack6849 8

Wednesday 17 July 2013 12:02

How the hell did a toy hand get up your dog's ass? on second thought, don't want to know.

Chelsea_bella 20

Wednesday 17 July 2013 12:03

You got the shit slapped out of you while at the same time, getting the shit slapped onto you.

Comments

Chevrille 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 8:44

What a slap in the face.

elliepenguin 5

Thursday 18 July 2013 9:15

That high five must've been the shit!

SAgirl 13

Thursday 18 July 2013 13:35

Another reason not to have dogs.

hockeyduude1477 3

Thursday 18 July 2013 13:53

How did it get there????

Starchild2229 12

Thursday 18 July 2013 17:05

What the 5 fingers say to the face?? SLAP!!!!

carnage45567 10

Thursday 18 July 2013 22:52

That's shitty

shadow7x 10

Friday 19 July 2013 4:49

Haha that's hilarious

Slyguy713 5

Friday 19 July 2013 20:14

Holy shit that is awesome.

UnluckyLolfire 15

Sunday 21 July 2013 4:24

I am unsure as to whether or not I want context for this.

stitesy29 18

Sunday 21 July 2013 20:06

And how did it get up your dog's ass?

Keywords

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