Neighbours, Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't... - FML

By silent one - 12/09/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 275

You deserved it 3 029

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 647

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 005

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 846

You deserved it 6 933

By monochrometea - 09/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 890

You deserved it 2 371

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

Mambo Number 5

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 18:00

Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 19/03/2015 15:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 2 913

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 94

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 428

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 632

Next

Top comments

Naitras 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:09

Why bother? It's apparent they don't care about it

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 12:10

if I were you I'd be trying to make mine louder than theirs.

Comments

miserypoison 13

Monday 12 September 2011 13:17

How's this a FML..

perdix 29

Monday 12 September 2011 13:30

Have you ever tried to stifle a fart? Clamping your anal sphincter can cause painful rectal spasms, plus the fart bubbles that escape into your bloodstream make you puffy and look like shit. Also, living in a place where the walls, floors and ceilings are so thin that every bodily noise is audible is a rather undesirable condition.

ZielZone 4

Monday 12 September 2011 13:22

Who really cares?? Are you really THAT MUCH of a wuss that you can't fart in your own apartment for fear of someone else ??

SirBedevere 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:27

Use farts as a form of communication between apartments.

CiaranPM 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:41

Should have just let it rip.

pixelebrate 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:47

Like they say in that TV show...Let it rip! (I can't remember it though)

mgsoloist 14

Monday 12 September 2011 15:21

Beyblades.

pixelebrate 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:14

Yes thank you my dear friend.

Opium_Production 5

Monday 12 September 2011 14:41

Your neighbors are sending you messages. Learn morse code.

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Monday 12 September 2011 16:29

toot toot toot toot, toot, toot toooooooot toot toot, toot tooooooooot toot toot, tooooooooot toooooooot tooooooot. (That's "hello" in ass-morse)

leadman1989 15

Monday 12 September 2011 14:51

"Live free ass free ass the WIND blows, ass free ass the grASS grows."

blackvyper 8

Monday 12 September 2011 14:51

Wherever you may be let your wind blow free for that's what killed my granny.

Rabidkid 14

Monday 12 September 2011 15:02

Spread your cheeks apart?

Sabraynay 10

Monday 12 September 2011 15:02

Neighborly bonding. :)

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