Neighbours, Farts and Miscellaneous: Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't... - FML

By silent one - 12/09/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 274

You deserved it 3 028

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 222

You deserved it 3 646

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 805

You deserved it 36 005

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 844

You deserved it 6 932

By monochrometea - 09/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 889

You deserved it 2 371

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 301

Mambo Number 5

By Anonymous - 12/07/2022 18:00

Today, having been on hold on the phone for several minutes, I felt the need to release a fart. Just as I started my release, they picked up. They definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 19/03/2015 15:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 346

You deserved it 2 913

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 94

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 428

The unexpected

By RikkiTikkiTavi - 12/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 3 630

Next

Top comments

Naitras 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:09

Why bother? It's apparent they don't care about it

tsume24 3

Monday 12 September 2011 12:10

if I were you I'd be trying to make mine louder than theirs.

Comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Monday 12 September 2011 12:26

"Let it blow, let it blow, let it blow"

leadman1989 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:50

Of course YOU would say that. ;p When/if you change your pic this won't make ass much sense.

FMLKamiisaur 0

Monday 12 September 2011 12:27

You should try to outdo them...

juliushater 12

Monday 12 September 2011 12:29

If thats the case i realy feel sorry for my neighbour, i let it rip when i`m at home. dont give a shit !!!

mgsoloist 14

Monday 12 September 2011 15:20

If you really fart that loud you probably should at least take a shit...

TheFlyingMan 8

Monday 12 September 2011 12:29

Aww, poor you! Maybe crawl into a corner and release the kraken?

pixelebrate 0

Monday 12 September 2011 13:42

(hears loud noise from the corner) O_o

Enrique34 0

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:15

I like how u say ur not that slutty haha ur funny

Hockey_fan 0

Monday 12 September 2011 12:35

Aww well that stinks ....no pun intended....

jedielf 23

Monday 12 September 2011 12:45

One of you is going to have to move out... eventually. Probably.

Enigmax2514 7

Monday 12 September 2011 12:51

Hey man what's a few farts between neighbours? They've always bombarded your ears with noise pollution, why not counter with a few of your own? Hazardous gas released Is a bonus, direct the smell upwards with a fan

AdamMichael 2

Monday 12 September 2011 12:55

give them some back! dont take any crap from the smelly neighbours!

perdix 29

Monday 12 September 2011 12:55

Are your neighbors the dreaded Fart Bullies -- people who will rip loud, obnoxious farts, but will beat up anyone else who makes even the slightest toot? The only way to stop them is to Dutch oven them with Silent-but-Deadlies.

leadman1989 15

Monday 12 September 2011 12:59

I can't relate, I'm the type of guy who burps insanely loudly during don't be afraid of the dark and actually gets laughs. Movie sucks BTW not scary in the least.

MagicallyFat 12

Monday 12 September 2011 14:53

What does your comment have to do with anything??

leadman1989 15

Tuesday 13 September 2011 4:51

Op - I stifled a fart (out of modesty/shame) Me - I CAN'T RELATE... Burps loudly and randomly in public. I'm talking directly to op in this case. Didn't realize that was such a conundrum.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 139

Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 149

The Top

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 663

You deserved it 3 155

Today, our cat wrote me a story: "This is where I caught a mouse. This is where I ate the mouse. This is where I puked the mouse." Unfortunately, she wrote it as a graphic novel on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 155

Today, I was walking on the sidewalk near my house when a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of a speeding ambulance. The ambulance swerved up onto the grass. Yes, I broke my arm after being hit by an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 929

You deserved it 433

Today, our landlord showed up with police and legal paperwork that let him throw us out immediately. Apparently my husband has been ignoring eviction notices for months and having vicious arguments with the landlord. Now we’re homeless and everything we own is in storage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 198

Today, after 8 years of being guinea-pigged for medical testing that "might work" on my ribcage for chronic pain, I finally caved and tried going to a pain clinic. The doctors' responses mostly consisted of, "That's weird" and, "That doesn't make any sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 122

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 533

You deserved it 2 749