Intimacy: Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get...

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 261

You deserved it 7 094

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 477

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 882

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 226

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 098

You deserved it 6 453

By anon - 08/12/2012 05:33 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 468

You deserved it 5 443

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 770

You deserved it 9 824

Weird

By not the scalpel - 15/09/2012 07:36 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 090

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 941

You deserved it 9 090

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 565

You deserved it 31 821

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 807

You deserved it 6 736

DocBastard 38

Friday 18 October 2013 9:03

Sex Rule #1: If you draw blood, you're doing it wrong. Exception: Virgins

svalaedgren 18

Friday 18 October 2013 9:02

At least he seems to think it was worth it

Comments

JRFaceless 8

Friday 18 October 2013 9:05

Is he a masochist or did you guys leave a knife in the bed on accident?

Anumayis 34

Friday 18 October 2013 9:07

OP, how did this happen? you can not tell us this and then walk away!

Rohit281 13

Friday 18 October 2013 9:12

For passion, one has to shed blood, sweat and tears. :)

mandyrozrox 13

Friday 18 October 2013 9:19

wow that must've been awkward

JamesUSMC 6

Friday 18 October 2013 9:23

at least you know your good !

lincolnkite 6

Friday 18 October 2013 9:26

I know this guy. FML

joopjoop 19

Friday 18 October 2013 18:18

well did they tell you how the cut happened?? I want to know!

Kateyez_26 13

Friday 18 October 2013 9:35

Look at the bright side, it was the best ****** ever!

noldier 5

Friday 18 October 2013 9:44

i don't see the problem here. if it was that great, then it's worth bragging about!

bubblyhayley 16

Friday 18 October 2013 9:47

why is this a bad thing. .. take the compliment lol

jjsaunders32 6

Friday 18 October 2013 9:48

What if OP ... Is a guy..

Zack6849 8

Friday 18 October 2013 9:54

Then op would be gay or bisexual, is there a problem here?

worldclassrager 39

Friday 18 October 2013 17:35

The factor you have I can see that the sex isn't posted but either way the way it is written it's a given...

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

The Top

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 3 360

Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 648

You deserved it 1 845

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 806

You deserved it 36 353

Today, I pretended to drunk text some friends. When in all reality I was sitting home all alone. I don't know what's worse: that I pretended that I was social and drunk, or that the friend I said I was with was actually with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 143

You deserved it 52 427

Today, and since my son was diagnosed autistic, my sister refuses to have anything to do with him, because she doesn’t want her kids around him. The only reason her two kids aren’t diagnosed with autism and ADHD is because she refuses to let doctors assess them. Her kids are worse than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 143

Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 3 573

Same thing different taste

Passionate

FML Uncensored

Weird

Top comments

Comments